New Toys

Yes, I'm considering software as a toy. It doesn't always happen that way, but it has today.

My web host had a sale on website design software and I decided to give it a buy and see what it can do. It's pretty cool. Some things are frustrating, and it seems like it's not as intuitive as the program I was using (or, just really new). But, I really like the photo gallery options on this a lot better. I think it will really help get my photo albums back to something close to what they were on Photosite. Or, at least better than a page of thumbnails that link to an uninteresting page with a picture.

So, I've spent the bulk of the day re-building my website with NetObjects Fusion. I got the sailing pictures back up, and the Stonehenge pictures are ready. Now I just need my web host to synchronize with something, and I get to try to upload my site with FTP. I've never done it that way before, so this should be interesting! I think it will be a just fine investment.

Keep with me! If this does work out (and I sure hope it does, because I'm not made of money!) the majority of my site should be back up in no time!

It's Been a Long Long Day

I got some run-down shoes
Ain't got no place to stay
But any old place will be okay
It's been a long, long day

I only hope our sales figures reflect how incredibly run down we all felt by the end of the day. That would be some comfort at least.

Someone had brought us a big pot full of monkey bread, and one of our workers made whoopie pies (we always eagerly anticipate whoopie pies!). We all had so much sugar today. I think I've exhausted my sugar allowance for a week. The sugar crash hit around 1700, with two hours to go in the day.

I think tomorrow I might have to ride my bike for a few hours to work off today's calories! Good thing I'm not working. It's been a long long day.

I sure could use a friend
Don't know what else to say
I hate to abuse an old cliche
But it's been a long, long day
Its been a long, long day

So Much to Talk About

But I'm really not going to say much. I'm tired. WAM's work is horrid. I'm so glad I won't have to do it on Monday. I'm pissed off beyond thought at my father. He said something inappropriate while in my car that was directed at another motorist, and I just...I'm so ashamed of him. It doesn't matter that the other person didn't hear, I heard. And when I yelled at him, he laughed it off. I don't understand how anyone could be so angry and so prejudice.

I need to get out of here.

Who'd a Thunk It

Happy Birthday, Mom!

and

Happy Birthday, mom's wonderful sister!

Something Special

I had originally intended to start officially journaling on Samhain, the holiday that many Wiccans and pagans consider the new year of a different solar (some say Celtic-based) calendar. Last night was a full moon, an Esbat, and I did something a little different that simply must be shared.

One of the lovely ladies I work with and her husband are having a house built. They live on nineteen wooded acres in rural Virginia, and their current home does not leave much room for expanding their family.

I have seen the floor plan and pictures of the home they have ordered, and she tells me they will be taking pictures every step of the way (I would too!). Yesterday, they started digging out the basement. As she was explaining this too me, she said they have two pennies (one dated 2004, the year they were married, and one dated 2007, the year the house is to be finished) that they will bury in the soil just before the concrete is poured. I very much like this idea of theirs, and I told her that I would put a charm for peace and protection in my house, where I having one built. She told me that sounded like a good idea but wouldn't know the first thing about making one. Then, suddenly things lined up. I offered to make one for them, that they could bury with their two cents.

I really enjoy making charms like this. When I do, everything is significant, down to the color of the thread I use. Since this is a charm for their new home, the main focus is protection and tranquility, with a little bit of prosperity thrown in for good measure.

The first step was to find what I wanted to use, gather them, and cleanse them (just as you would do if you were making a meal in the kitchen). After that, the work begins. I started by cleansing my aura and creating a sacred space in which to work. I haven't been in the best of spirits lately and needed to be sure that what has been bugging me did not get put into this gift for my friend.

I sat facing the East, for all things begin in the East and this was certainly related to a beginning. I used a brown cotton, brown being the color for homes and cotton a natural fiber that will do no harm to the earth it will be buried in, and started sewing it into a bag with blue thread, blue for its tranquility. I also sewed in a blue hemp drawstring, hemp for, again, it being a natural fiber. During this, the part that takes the most time, I was thinking of my friend and her husband, and how their life together will change and grow in a new home of their choosing.

When the bag was completed, it was time to add the ingredients. I placed five stones in the bag, one by one, naming the properties for which they were chosen. A Carnelian to promote relaxation, a Citrine for peaceful sleep and to burn away negativity, a piece of Hematite to absorb what doesn't get burned away, a Snowflake Obsidian (with one bright spot) for its powerful protective properties, and a Clear Quartz for balance and keeping the other stones clean. Next, I added the herbs. Sage for protection and to keep the energies clean (burning sage is often used to clean spaces in the home or around people, called smudging), Rosemary to lend strong protective energy, and Red Rose Petals, which also have their own protective energy, but I really added it to give my friend and her husband a happy-home boost with the properties of love that are often associated with red roses. Then there were two little extras to add. The first was a pinch of a special blend of ritual incense, used to bring about success.

The second was a last minute addition: I thought about it as I was gathering my supplies and it was just perfect. Years ago, when I first started on this path, my brother and I made a charm for our home. I had always had a fear of my house burning down, or getting struck by lightening, or some other horrific end to the place I lived and loved. We took our instructions from Scott Cunningham's Earth Power; he had an anti-fire charm, and I wanted to make it. Even then, I was adjusting other people's recipes to suit me. I, with my brother's help, took a piece of oak and burned it to ashes. We then dowsed the ashes in water. When they dried, we tied them up in a blue bag (blue being the color of water, which quenches fire) and hung that in the heart of the house, the room that is used the most. Its presence has served me well, especially during thunder storms of which I used to have a terrible fear. It has been hanging there, undisturbed, for fourteen years. Yesterday, I added a pinch of ash from that charm to the one I was making for my friend, for its additional protective properties.

The charm, being complete, was tied up and then cleansed and charged with Reiki. I set it on my windowsill overnight to absorb the energy of the full moon.

I presented my friend with her little gift this morning, who was very happy to receive it. I can't think of a better way to have spent my Esbat. As I said earlier, the timing was perfect. They had just started digging, it was the night of the full moon, and my friends were going to bury the tokens this weekend. I even left the bag closed but not tied, so they may add their coins to it if they wish. My friend seemed very excited about the prospect of putting it all together.

I'm very excited about their new home. I suppose homes are an exciting thing, but this one isn't even mine. I am just so happy for them. And I really enjoy making charms like this for others. I had mentioned how I haven't been in the best mood lately. While what was upsetting me is still upsetting me, it feels very distant today. And I slept well last night, better than I have in a long time.

You never know what doing something for others can also do for you. Let a little magick in your life.

Disappearing Coffee

WAM is out today (and tomorrow, and the next day) and I have to do the work that won't get done. There are two main jobs that WAM does, I was ordered by Adolf to only worry about one of them (because OBC gets fined if they don't get completed).

I'm ok with this, this is what that big training session a couple weeks ago was for. So, at about 0830, I went to the folder to pick up the file that I was supposed to worry about. Keep in mind that while doing this, my regular stuff with the 1500 deadline does not get worked. Formatting the report is time-consuming. Really time-consuming. It probably took thirty minutes just to get the report to the place where I could start working it.

Add to this having to answer the phone during my shift and WAM's, and don't forget about my regular stuff, and the voice mail, and the group e-mails. I just finished that report. Just finished!

It took me all day!! I have a couple breaks in there to do the really urgent things of my normal work, and of course answering the phone, and it's a good think I only take thirty minutes for lunch. That friggin' thing took me all damn day! It was so long that I don't even remember finishing my coffee. I remember getting it, and drinking some. But something happened to the last third of the cup that I'm sure I didn't finish.

I really wanted to print that report out and fold it up into a little airplane and burn it with a magnifying glass.

And I get to do it all again tomorrow. Maybe I'll sleep better tonight, and the report will only have twenty lines to update as opposed to today's eighty. Here's hoping.

Cause and Effect

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
~ Maya Angelou

I must down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by.
~ John Masefield

Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light.
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.
~ Sarah Williams

Faith is knowing there is an ocean because you have seen a brook.
~ William Arthur Ward

We rest here while we can, but we hear the ocean calling in our dreams,
And we know by the morning, the wind will fill our sails to test the seams.
The calm is on the water and part of us would linger by the shore.
For ships are safe in harbour, but that's not what ships are for.
~ Michael Lille

Turning No Where

Have you ever had a time where you felt there was no one to go to for comfort, or just to listen, or even to sit in silence because presence sometimes helps?

That's what depression is, and you can be depressed about everything, or just one thing, large issues, or silly non-issues.

I have not been feeling like my normal cheerful, happy self recently. There's no need to worry. I've had to deal with it on my own since high school, when I was diagnosed with severe clinical depression. I've had lots of practice and I know how to deal with it now.

Some days are lower than others, and help is completely in my court.

I've tried therapy in the past. It didn't help. Especially since I was forced to go without for nine months of the year. I have the same opinion of psychologists as I do medical doctors: I have yet to meet one who actually wants to help.

I found such joy in my thirty minute ride yesterday. It was slower going than I probably would have done if I were not riding while my mother was walking, but it was fantastic just the same. Part of it was probably the solitude, even though I was with my mother, I was also not (if that makes any sense). I hope I will have a chance to go back out tonight when I get home. Willow once told me that she heard somewhere that bike riding doesn't help to work your ab muscles. Whoever said that probably had not ridden a bike in a while! I felt like at least the lower ones were being worked fine. And, it really works your core muscles, and those are quite important.

It's Catching Up With Me

I haven't been sleeping very well lately, and I think I'm really starting to notice during the day. I had to do some gift shopping today, but I really just wanted to stay home. Play on the computer, ride my bike, work on my websites.

I suppose part of the shopping dread was also that we had to go to Wal-Mart. We avoid the Wal-Marts around here. They're really awful. The other part of the shopping dread was because I was getting a wedding gift. And we all know how much I enjoy everything that has to do with weddings.

After breakfast and shopping, I took a nap. I think my mom watched some of the game and took a nap too. Then we got up, put the finishing touches on dinner, and took a turn about the neighborhood while the last bit simmered in the slow cooker.

I'm still a little not used to riding a bicycle, but I really enjoyed the thirty minutes we took before dinner. My mother was walking as I was getting a feel for my new bike; how it turns, how it breaks, how I used to be able to take both hands off the handlebars but can't do that anymore! At least, not yet. I haven't uploaded the new pictures yet, but I'll get them to you later.

After our little outing in the so-much-nicer-than-yesterday weather, we had dinner. This was a delectable stew of veggies; carrots and onions and garlic, with fall-apart chicken and potatoes (the latter I didn't have, of course!), complimented with a harvest salad; greens, pears, dried cherries, pecans, in a cherry vinaigrette. And we finished it off with the last of the Lake Side Red from the Lake Anna Winery. A perfect holiday dinner!

Now, it's time to hit up a movie (probably Buffy, the Vampire Slayer) and then crawl into bed!

Hot, Sticky, Melting

Oh, holy bones, what a day! My curls lasted about an hour in the humidity. By the end of the day, I had to buy a snood. It was so hot, I couldn't take my hair being down any longer!

On the bright side (and also not so much), the faire was a busy busy place. There were lots of people, and lots of people actually buying things. Those are good days! I'm glad the shop I work in doesn't operate on commission, but we do get a bonus based on the sales for the day. Everyone gets the same bonus, so I guess we work on a collective commission. I like it better that way. There's no pressure on us to sell things, and yet, there's incentive for all of us to do so.

And I bought that hat that I had been eyeing since the third. It was waiting for me!

Now it's time to wash off the dust and get to bed. I'm tired!