A Tiny Bit Late

I just filed my taxes! I usually do that in February. I don't know what I put it off this year.

In any event, something back from Federal and what amounts to nothing from state (but not owning either). That return is going to Miss Luna's bills. I'm wearing that down bit by bit!

Now I need to pack up a bit and head home. My parents and I are going to the Terracotta Warrior exhibit at the National Geographic Museum tomorrow! And there might be Cherry Blossoms too!

Tonight

Etsy is hosting a chat with CPSA officials to address the concerns that small business owners like me have with the CPSIA. I'm seriously tired, but I will be there!

In other news, I signed up for a shop on Zibbet.com. I've been thinking of splitting things up, like moving mala and spirit dolls to their own shop. Or, I can keep doing what I'm doing and have similar items on both venues. I'm not sure yet. I may even want to try something new, but who knows what that will be! Any thoughts for me on that? Zibbet is a new handmade marketplace compared to Etsy, and it doesn't have nearly the same amount of web traffic. The benefit is that basic accounts are free, and it might we worth it to get in while it grows. It's something to try, to not put all my eggs in one basket, as it were. Don't worry, friends, my Etsy shop isn't going anywhere!

Weekend Review

I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to really talk about my weekend visit with my brother. It was busy!

On Friday, my parents and I packed up the CRV, put the dog, Buffy, in her special car seat, and headed down the road. It was a long drive, longer than usual because we had to stop more frequently to let the tiny dog walk. She was a little nervous in the car, but eventually settled down. She also did very well on her leash, I know my parents were working hard to get her ready for that.

We got to the hotel and mom took a nap while dad and I went for a brief swim in the saline pool. It was different. It still smelled like chlorine, but not as bad, and it didn't sting when you opened your eyes. I have issued opening my eyes underwater since my surgery anyway, but it was nice that it didn't burn!

We met up with my brother and Moon and they took us to a yummy Mexican place for dinner. The evening ended with plans to get an early start for Saturday, as it would involve an hour drive through the mountains to the Monterey Maple Festival.

This is the biggest thing to do out here other than the book fair. There is one road leading to Monterey from the eastern Augusta County, US 250, that was once the only east-west road to Richmond before the interstate was built. It wound through the mountains and national forests of Highland County. Just to give you an idea of how much in the middle of nowhere this place is, according to my brother, the total population of Highland County is 2500 people. This is a tiny point in Virginia, bordered on two sides by West Virginia. There are several other Maple Festivals, it's all really one big county-wide thing, but the best place is Monterey.

There were things like crafts, fresh-made pork rinds, homemade maple syrups and olive oils, local honey, and fresh, hot, unbelievably yummy maple donuts. We spent the better part of the morning here, browsed the booths, ate an early lunch, and piled back into my brother's truck with two dozen donuts.

Upon getting back to the house, we watched Monsters Vs Aliens and then had dinner at the Depot Grille in Staunton. This place is awesome. It's located at the Historic Staunton Station and the food is spectacular. My mom and I had been here once before on an earlier trip. I like Staunton (don't pronounce that U or the locals will have a fit!). It's a nice, old town.

I swam for an hour Sunday morning to try to make up for the non-Weight Watcher-friendly meals I had consumed over the last few days. We checked out and went to my brother's place in the late morning. Then we just hung out, with Animal Planet on the TV. Mom and I ran out to pick up lunch and then we were on our way back to the civilized world of Northern Virginia before 1600.

It was a fun, busy, and exhausting trip. I'm still trying to get back to my regular sleeping patterns, though it's hard because Aura is in heat (that's another story altogether).

Weekly Weigh-in 8

I feared this week. I spent the weekend with my parents, my brother, and his wife for his birthday. I ate a lot of crap, there just came a point where I stopped tracking. I was afraid at what the scale would say. How much weight would I gain back after one dreadful weekend?

Thankfully, it wasn't much at all. Only 4 tenths of a pound. I can live with that!

So, this time I learned that it really helps to track what I eat. Even if I'm going outside of my daily points, even if I'm going outside of my weekly points, I need to pay attention to what I'm eating. I don't know why that works, really. I guess it holds me accountable. Maybe I'm less likely to eat crap if I keep counting the crap. I don't know, but that is what really works.

I'm also getting back into the realm of people who like to tell me they think I look fine (my roommates, in particular). That's great, and thank you, but if I'm not satisfied, you thinking that I am isn't going to help me. And still, I will maintain this is not about weight. This is about turning healthy choices into a habit. So far, the 12 lbs that I've lost have almost all been from adjusting what I eat. I haven't really been exercising to add to it. I'm feeling good, except for when I eat crap, so that must count for something.

On The Road

I'm blogging from my iPod! My parents and I are going to visit my brother today. Should be fun!

I wish I could have taken Miss Luna with me, but my roommates said they would take good care of her. We are bringing Buffy with us. I hope she'll be ok for the long drive.

I have something more about the drive with Robin yesterday but that will have to wait until I'm back at a computer.

A Bit of Wisdom

"Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt."
~ William Shakespeare

Continuing Story

So he has some inkling that he upset me, if only a little. The plan was for dad to swing by my place and pick me up after he gets off of work - we're visiting my brother this weekend. Robin wants to drop me off instead. That's really a ridiculous notion, because my parents live fifty miles away and dad is already heading in that direction and wouldn't have to come back. And I'm not really ready to talk any further right now, nor do I want to pretend there's nothing to talk about. I don't know how to say that without him thinking that I'm angry or more than a little upset and showing up anyway. I want to focus on the fun weekend I'm going to have with my family.

I don't know what to do and I feel like (though I know that's not the reality) that I need to know now.

Talking At Me

So, this evening, despite the fact that I had a ton of stuff to do in preparation for my weekend, Robin told me that he'd been thinking about what he wants out of his future. It involves graduating college and getting a high-paying job, and eventually marriage and children. I'm ok with all of this, except he's nearly six years younger than me (which means the time-frame doesn't quite match up) and a Sri Lankan native. His plan includes sending wife and kids to Sri Lanka, while he stays here to work, so that kids can grow up in that language and culture. I'm having a really hard time seeing how monolingual American me fits in there.

But he must think there's room somewhere, or he wouldn't have brought it up at all, right? Like, maybe he has some idea that his plan isn't practical or realistic. Or maybe he'd be willing to change it because I can't play the role that he expects. I don't want to give up on something that may be everything I want, but I don't want to waste my already-dwindling time with this if it's got nowhere to go.

I mean, if he and I were to have children, I wouldn't be against them learning his native language and culture in the least bit, but I'm not capable of raising them in it, being not of it myself. Would I be too drastic if I make an attempt to start learning Sinhalese now? What does it mean if I'm even thinking about it? And then after all of that discussion, he said he didn't want to talk about it anymore because he thought it upset me. How can we not talk about it? Is it fair to me to hold on when he thinks I'm not going to be the other half of his plan? He's worried that I'm going to be 36 by the time he thinks he'll be ready to have kids. Frankly, I figured I'd have all of that by now. I must be doing something wrong.

I have too much on my plate to even think about this right now, but I can’t not think about this.

Weekly Weigh-in 6 and 7

You'd be right if you noticed I didn't post an update on my DIEt progress last week. I had other things on my mind! I did run to the meeting to get weighed. I gained .6 of a pound. It was probably all from that Sunday, so it didn't really bother me.

Today's weigh-in, however, was back where it should be. I lost 1.4 lbs from the previous week. I actually did pretty bad as far as my eating choices, so I'll take that 1.4 lbs. Total loss from the beginning is nearly 13 lbs. I think I'm still on track!

So, for these past two weeks, I've learned that Sunday brunch is a killer. That's probably to be expected, really. I can make better choices, I just didn't. I have been to a brunch the past two Sundays.

I've also learned that my stomach is adjusting to the amount of food it gets. Normally, my brunch consists of a breakfast course, a lunch course, and a fruit and dessert course. Both weeks, I skipped the lunch course altogether and still ate more than I should have. No regrets; it was yummy, and I could be satisfied on a 1 or 0 point soup dinner.

I do plan to give a Sunday brunch a good guesstimate, so I know what to plan for next time. I still am certain I didn't break the bank on either week.

Join The Hunt

It's here! The Etsy Goodie Goodies Team invites you to join our EGG HUNT!! Egg Team members have hidden eggs somewhere in their Etsy shops. Your goal is to find the eggs! You have between now and April 3rd.

Go to http://etsygoodiegoodiesteam.blogspot.com/ for rules of the game and how to enter. The prize is fabulous!

Good luck!

The eggs in my shop have to be Gnome-appropriate, you know!

Pulling

I talked to my dad yesterday. He told me about his morning. When he got up and started to head downstairs, he reflexively looked into my old bedroom expecting to find Callie on my bed - one of her many regular nap sites.

Honestly, I expect I'll go searching for her the next time I visit too. But I know exactly where she is.

The routine is interrupted. How long before it settles?

Callie Baby

It was January of 1999. We wanted another cat though, since we already had one, I can't remember why. I think I just wanted one, and my parents were ok with it.

We decided to go to the shelter instead of waiting for the "Free Kittens" signs that always somehow appeared. Dad and I went looking first. We needed a cat that would be ok with other cats, because of the one we had. There was a beautiful silver tabby with bright green eyes about a year old, and a cage full of little kittens. The little calico was the sweetest cat in that bunch, and the volunteers said everyone just adored her. The silver tabby was a nice cat, but he hissed at the kitten my dad was holding when I brought him near her. Unfortunately, that meant he was not a good candidate for our home. But that calico, she got along with the other kittens just fine. At the end of that visit, we were set on the calico, but had to bring my mother and brother by for their approval before the shelter would let us adopt her.


When we came back with the other humans of our household, they let me hold the kitten of choice. She was in the middle of a nap, and she kept on napping there in my arms. A few days later, my parents came into the pharmacy where I worked with the sweet calico in tow. I called her Callista, which means "the most beautiful," but that was a long name for a little six month old kitten, so we just called her Callie.

Callie grew into quite a large cat. She was very complacent, putting up with the other cat, Ichus, teasing her. After my brother got married and moved out and took Ichus with him, we got Miss Luna. Callie still put up with her, but dad and I could tell she would be happier being the only cat in the house.

Right before I moved out, Callie developed diabetes. She came very close to dying then, because it took us a while to realize what was wrong, what was causing her sudden and drastic weight loss. She stopped using the litter box and spent her days just loafing around. When I left, I took Miss Luna with me. I couldn't take Callie, because of the litter box issue. I will be forever grateful to my parents for how they stepped up and took care of our suddenly ill cat. Even my mother gave her insulin shots.

Callie improved with insulin and seemed to be happier since she had the house to herself (and my parents, of course). She was living, though not altogether thriving. I wonder if she missed me. I think she might have, because she always slept with me when I came to visit. It's been about two years since she was diagnosed, a few months before her twelfth birthday.

Last weekend, I wasn't sure she was doing that well. She spent the whole time on my bed and barely ate. When I came home this past Saturday, I didn't see much of her, and she didn't sleep on the bed with me. By the time I was ready to come home Sunday afternoon, just about 1600 or so, she was in a dreadful state. She was drooling goo. She huddled up to dad, who was on the floor holding her. We talked about taking her to the vet in the morning. With one more kiss on her sweet head, I headed home - fearful.

Around 1900, my dad called to tell me they took her to an emergency hospital. There was a bit of a screw up on the part of the hospital, because Callie needed to be revived but it somehow didn't get to the doctor right away that she was diabetic. Once the doctor knew what was going on, he was able to do something about it. Even though her blood glucose level was at zero, she seemed to be responding. But brain damage was highly likely.

As I learned Monday morning, the doctor called my parents around 0200 to say that Callie was experiencing seizures. They knocked her out with valium, but that didn't stop the convulsing. Dad made the decision to have her euthanized. Dad told me at work, and we both left early so we could bury our baby kitty in the back yard next to Buttons and all the mice and hamsters and guinea pigs and parakeets. I did not want dad to have to do that alone, and I've never had a chance to bury any of the beloved cats who came before her. I wasn't going to miss it.

Afterwards, over dinner, as mom was looking over the bill from the hospital, I was half-expecting her to say something about being free of the burden of a diabetic cat. Mom is good at downplaying when she wants to be, and I really felt that she thought Callie was sometimes a pain to deal with. It wasn't always that way, of course, just after Callie got sick and started using the carpet as her litter box. Looking at that bill, about half the cost of Miss Luna's recent care, she wistfully said "at least we tried." At least we tried. If they had waited to bring her to a doctor in the morning, she would have died in the night, and we all would have felt guilty, like we didn't do enough to save her. I was wrong about how mom felt.

In a way, we got two more years with Callie than we would have had. And somehow, we knew that one day the diabetes would be the end of her. Even so, she outlived every cat I had before her. I think she knows that she takes my love with her.

Callie's Love

Callie had to be put down during the night. Going home soon so dad doesn't have to bury her alone. More later.

Obsessed

I pulled my new iPod Touch out at lunch today. I made a comment to LDS about the new game I had downloaded. She then said, "I think you're obsessed."

"I'm not obsessed!" I countered.

"Just consider this a failed attempt at intervention," she said.

Wait. What?

Weekly Weigh-in 5

It's been seven weeks since I started this plan. It counts as six weeks because we had to cancel one (because of the feet of snow) and it will be added to the end. So, seven weeks that counts as six weeks since one of those weeks was two weeks long, and he fifth weigh-in.

You females out there know that there are times during the month when the scale says something that it shouldn't. I've been wearing jeans (adds 2 lbs easily) at every weigh-in, deciding to go with consistency for a more accurate reading. This time, I went with a lighter fabric of pant to off-set the weight that my body is retaining because of the time that it is.

It must have worked, because I lost 2.8 lbs from last week, bringing my total for the seven weeks to 11 lbs even!

This past week, which was my first week eating a point less a day, I found it just as difficult as I used to to fill my diet with veggies and things. Part of it was that I felt busy, maybe rushed, and cooking doesn't really fit in there. But, I'll take another stab at it this week and see if it gets better.

All in all, I feel great. And I feel like I can keep this up. And I feel like it was the right thing to do to get myself back under control.