Wednesday, April 30, 2008



I went to Target to pick up a sleeping bag for this weekend (and a couple other things I'm going to need) and, with no intention of actually buying anything, walked down the video game aisle. They had four Wiis behind the pretty clear glass. I had to consult with mom on this one, but we decided that we wanted one. I watched one get sold while we were waiting for the staff to bring up a patio set that mom also wanted. I let dad wait for that while I bought the Wii, and a good thing too, because it was the last one on the shelf when I got to it. I have a Wii!!

The patio set was a pain in the hand. Really! It was heavy and awkward and not going to fit in the trunk of my little Saturn. In the attempt to get it in the back seat, my hand slipped from the bottom of the box. This caused the middle fingernail on my left hand to break a good third into the quick of my nail bed. Yes, it hurt. Yes, it bled. Yes, I have a nice cushy bandage on it right now. Unfortunately, I crochet in an atypical way that requires the use of that finger (more than the typical way does), so I was not able to finish either of the two projects I'm working on like I wanted to.

Maybe it will be less sore by this evening. Maybe. The Wii probably won't get set up until next week. Maybe Monday when I'm off. Yeah, that'd be a good day to do that!

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Trusting Instincts

Remember LDS and her garden gnome inspiration? She made her way to the doctor yesterday, certain he was going to tell her she had some freaky tumor. No, there really is a garden gnome in there, and she's been feeling it kick. She came to me this morning, mostly laughing and quite shocked, to tell me the news.

Her "affliction" has been going on for months. Five to six months, actually. She joked that other mothers get nine months to prepare and she gets to do it in three. She also joked that she used to make fun of those women who didn't know they were pregnant, and is now one of them. If you don't know how to recognize the signs, I guess you could miss it. I had my suspicions; she's one of those people who likes to say she can't have kids. Apparently, the plumbing works fine.

So, for all you ladies out there who think it's just intense stress, consider your signs: feeling and getting sick, back aches, unexplained weight gain, and maybe feeling something moving around in your intestines. Look out; you just might actually have something moving around in there!

I told her if she had a girl, she could name her Naomi and call her Nome for short (I knew someone in college with said nickname). She and her girlfriend are going to have their hands full in a few months.

People around the office like to joke that there's something in the water that makes people pregnant. It does seem to happen a lot here. What's really funny is that whenever it comes up, everyone always turns to me like I'm going to be next. If that's the case, I hope everyone is prepared for the Second Coming.

I already made her a gnome, but now I wonder if I can make a little birthing doll....

Monday, April 28, 2008

Living History

Fox, Fae, dad, and I went to the National Museum of the American Indian yesterday. I've heard several things about this place: that it's incomplete, it doesn't have a lot of information, also that it's really great, and that you can go through it in one or two hours. While it looks like there could have been more exhibits, there was a ton of information. So much, in fact, that we had a hard time taking it all in during the course of one afternoon. I missed a lot that I know would interest me. That just means we'll have to go back.

This is the fountain on the Mall side of the building. There was a huge boulder on the other side of the walkway that amplified the sound made by the waterfall. It was really neat.

One of the exhibits was an exploration of women's dress. Here is just one example. I am not sure if I'm remembering correctly, but I believe this was a three-hide dress. Yes, all those colors are tiny seed beads. Amazing!

None of my outings are ever complete without some dolls. This is only one part of the case of dolls. Some were very abstract and some were exceptionally detailed. I bought a pair of Navajo dolls in the gift shop.

Those of you who know me also know that I love languages. Did you know that Cherokee actually has a written form? You Windows Vista users have a font loaded on your computers. This was the part of the museum that made me quite sad. Oral traditions are so easy to lose. As young people stop learning their native languages, the stories that are told in them will be lost. Some languages have already been lost, though the descendants of those who once spoke them remain. I mourn the loss of words, and all the wonderful stories that could be told by them.

I admit that I haven't done a really good job of describing this place. It's one of those things that you just have to see. This museum is unique. It's not all about something that is gone, it's about people and culture that is still around today. Frankly, no amount of blogging I could do today would do it justice. How about I just say we were there for about five hours, and didn't come close to reading every word.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Less Guilty

Mom reported that Aunt Betty had surgery on Saturday, so it turns out that it's a good thing we didn't go. She might have been in surgery when we got there, or busy recovering and not very coherent. I don't know when we'll get a chance to go because I'll be working a festival this next weekend; maybe she'll be home soon.

I'm off to spend my day in town with Fox, Fae, and dad. I'll tell you all about it tomorrow!

Saturday, April 26, 2008

No More Weekends

I went in to work this morning, but I told Adolf gas was too expensive and I wasn't going to come in any more weekends. I guess Adolf understood that. Even so, this morning was a waste. There was nothing that I was doing that I couldn't have done during the week. In fact, I could have gotten more done if it was a weekday. No more weekends.

The drive home was just like a Friday evening. It took me an hour and forty-five minutes. Bleh.

Mom and I were going to visit Aunt Betty in the hospital today. She fell on Thursday and broke a hip and shoulder. Unfortunately, they didn't bring her to the hospital that's nearby, they took her to one that's some forty-five minutes away. Add in my early morning spent at work, my extremely long Saturday drive home, the heat (and it's hot!), and the fact that both mom and I seem to be getting over a bit of a cold, we just couldn't summon up the energy to make the trek to visit her. I don't know when we will be able to; I'll be busy next weekend, but she will be there for a while because they're talking surgery.

Mom is concerned about her dog, Shelley, who is in a kennel right now. Shelley is very well trained, an adorable little Sheltie, but we know she's going to miss being at home. We don't know if someone is coming to help Aunt Betty out while she heals. It's not good for Shelley to stay in the kennel for so many weeks.

I feel bad that we didn't make it to the hospital. If it was the one nearby, it wouldn't have been an issue at all. I feel bad that I couldn't push aside my own fatigue to visit someone who really needs to know her family is thinking of her.

Friday, April 25, 2008

An Interesting Revelation

As I was curled up in my bed last night, I started thinking, as thoughts are want to do when you'd rather be sleeping.

I had no fear in London. On my first trip, I walked like I knew where I was going. I rode the Underground alone. That city was filled with wonderful things, but I didn't feel like I stuck out like a tourist (whether I did or not is another matter). Being alone there didn't scare me.

I had no fear in Paris. Even with one guy pushing us along so he could piggy back into the Metro. I know I didn't look like a tourist here, and even not speaking the language, I walked like it was familiar.

I had no fear in New York. I admit I didn't ride the Subway, but I hailed cabs and wandered aimlessly looking for places where I was supposed to be. I was not even what this country would consider an adult yet, but I wasn't afraid of being there.

I fear DC. I don't ride the Metro alone (I have other reasons for being Metro-phobic), I don't go into the city alone. I avoid being there late at night, if I can. Any times I have been, I've been not as collected as I could have been. I don't know what it is that makes London, Paris, or New York any more safe and comfortable than DC. Don't get me wrong, I love living in that city's proximity, and I love going into town to see the many wonderful things that are there to be seen. I do it, and I fear it.

Perhaps it's because of the proximity. I don't hear about attacks on joggers in Hyde Park, but I do hear about them in Rock Creek Park. I don't hear about bank robberies or high speed chases or children getting hit by stray bullets in any other city. But I hear about them here. It's not that I'm naive to think such things don't happen in other cities, they're just not in my face as often as they are where I live. Honestly, what city wants the tourists to hear about the bad things anyway? But it makes me walk the streets with more fear than any other place I may go.

This little before sleep revelation answered some questions that have recently come up. It's a rather strange position to find myself. But, now I understand.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

I Owe You Some Pictures

But I only have one. Since the little bear that Miss Luna hugged all night, I made another bear and a magpie (that's a kind of bird, people around the office think it's a penguin, I think it's very un-penguin-like). I don't have pictures of them yet. I do have the below cell-phone pick of one I'm rather proud of.

On Tuesday, LDS said she had a stomach ache. She said it felt like something was in there (think "Alien"). Her girlfriend says there's a garden gnome in there. A garden gnome! In her stomach! As crazy as that sounds, it made for some good inspiration.

Here's my little feel-better crocheted garden gnome. I finished him in about three hours (over Tuesday and yesterday evening) and gave him to LDS today.

I'm actually feeling further inspired. I can make a lot of little gnomes. And maybe add other elementals too (undines and salamanders and sylphs, maybe). LDS and I aren't very fond of doctors, so next I think I'll make a happy doctor gnome. There was no pattern, I just started stitching with this awesome multicolored yarn with shades of red and green and white. It seemed gnomish to me, though you can't see much of it under his beard.

Today was "bring your kids to work day." I don't have any kids, of course, but some of my coworkers do. My desk is rather popular, even for people in other departments, because it's covered in origami and, now, amigurumi. I actually took home a lot of my origami. My desk it a lot less cluttered at the moment. One little girl came back with a piece of pink paper and asked me to fold a jumping bunny. I gave her a quick tutorial. What do ya know? A fun day for me too!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Thoughts Flow

I recently created a buyer account on Etsy, so I can support Moon and her store. The amount of wonderful things that can be had there is amazing. I've bought a handful of supplies that I've been wanting to get for some time, a couple little toys, a really awesome piece of jewelry (and I'll talk more about this at a later time), and I have a growing list of things I want. Fear not, I'm not overspending.

I've been pointed to Etsy before, but never really gave it a chance. I admire all of those sellers though; people who have an idea and can make money doing it. It's mind-boggling.

I wish I had something to offer. I wish there was something I could do that people needed or wanted and would be willing to pay me to do it. But I have no skills and I have no talent.

I am not unique. There is nothing that I do that can't be done by others. There is nothing that I have that no one else has. There is nothing that I make that someone might need.

Nothing will save me. I will always work for The Man.

I stopped dreaming. I wanted to be an actor, but I can't act. I wanted to get married, but I am alone. I wanted to have children, but I have only myself. I wanted to be a nun. Let's just not talk about that one.

Maybe I can talk a little about that one. See, it wasn't a want, it was a know. I knew at a very young age that cloistered would be the life for me. I knew it as a child, and I knew it in my early teens, and I knew it when I started Catholic high school.

There's oddness in my first year of high school. My life saw major theological changes. My studies of world cultures and religions expanded greatly. My own spirituality took a 180° turn. Still, I was going to be a nun. I didn't hide my spiritual discoveries in school, yet they still accepted me into the Peer Ministry program my senior year. I led prayer circles backstage before curtain and before swim meets and soccer games. I was going to be a nun. That would have worked fine except for that little Catholic requirement, which no longer fit my beliefs and hasn't since.

I finally unlearned that knowledge, more recently in the grand scheme of things than I really care to admit. Turtle likes to joke about how happy she is that I "got over that," because she thinks I have an attractive figure (and I guess she means it would be a shame to tie it up in a habit and veil). Honestly, I don't disagree, but whatever my physical assets may be, they're not enough to help me find a life partner. Just enough to make some of my female friends wish they had what I had, for all the good they don't seem to realize it hasn't done me.

Sure, looks aren't everything. In a handful of years, they won't be anything, but that also means I don't have anything appealing intellectually either. It's not something I'm doing; I've been willing to settle for less than my ideal for some years now. Even compromising, eliminating the standards I created in my head that no real human can possibly attain, hasn't opened up any prospects. The problem must be me. This is why I've given up on wanting to be married. And that leads to why I've given up on wanting kids. Mayhap I should revisit the nun thing....

I actually wasn't intending on putting the latter half of this post here; I wasn't planning on that tangent at all, in fact. I thought about putting it on the blog that no one reads (see, I had a blog that only a few people could read, but no one did, so I changed it so that no one can. Now I can type whatever I want there and not have to worry about who may see it. No one sees it!), but it's here now and I'm not reaching for the backspace. I guess that means this is all I really have for today. For the record, I'm not singing the "boo-hoo, poor me" song either. I'm quite complacent with my fate.

Full Pink Moon

So named for the prevalent pink flowers of spring, this moon is also called the Fish Moon, the Sprouting Grass Moon, or the Egg Moon, depending on the region.

At the request of a friend, I spent this esbat sending Reiki to someone who needed a little healing. Full moons are great for healing rituals as it is, but with all of my supplies packed up in moving anticipation, a Reiki session was just perfect for my current circumstances.

Everything on the moving front is on hold right now with no estimated time of return. It's disappointing on many levels, because if this falls through I would have lost some much needed funds in the attempt and, of course, not improved my living situation any.

While I'm a few days behind in getting this esbat post up, I hope everyone had a great day, and I hope you're all blooming with excitement at the thought of the many gay festivities surrounding the upcoming sabbat.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Like the Train Wreck

Something horrific happens and people often say they should turn away, but don't.

I just read an extremely disturbing article on a website that I respect (and still do), that pointed me to another disturbing article that pointed me to another disturbing article on yet another website that I respect (and still do). It was nothing racy; they were articles about real people from the Middle Ages and today, who did truly horrific things to other real people. Some of those things made my stomach turn just to read about them, and yet, I kept reading.

Maybe we keep looking when we think we shouldn't because we've already seen something we immediately wished we hadn't seen. How much more damage to our delicate, caring, empathetic psyche can we do? Really, I'm not going to be scarred for the rest of my life because I know some uncomfortable facts (that's an understatement), but I could have done without the gory details just the same. Though, I'm much happier to have just read about them rather than witnessed them first hand.

It makes me wonder why we watch at all. An accident on the highway causes major delays mostly from the people who slow down just to look at what's going on as they drive by. I wonder what they are hoping to see. Damage? Blood? Dead bodies? And what difference does it make to them to have or have not seen it? Or, is it simply the fact that we are a curious race, in general, and like to know what is going on? If that's the case, we're also a "doubting Thomas" kind of people, because the radio reports that tell us what we want to know aren't enough, we have to see it for ourselves.

It's a rather peculiar thing when you think about it.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Get Out

This is National Turn Off the TV Week. Sure, I failed yesterday, but that doesn't mean I can't succeed for six out of seven days.

Turn off your TV! Go outside! Read a book! Do a craft! The world is full of wonderful things that you can do. Take charge of your life, don't let the TV run it for you!

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Just Sit Around

Monty came over today. We sat around and watched movies. I finished another crochet project and started one. There were some other things we had thought about doing, but it was raining and gloomy and not very pleasant out.

There were a couple booms of thunder that sent poor Miss Luna running around looking for a place to hide. It didn't help that she's not very fond of Monty and doesn't even attempt to get to know him. Callie spent the thunderous day sleeping in the corner behind the folded-up treadmill. That's her little cave, she likes it there.

It's ok to spend the day sitting and doing very little. I can't say I did nothing, because we were chatting (about politics mostly, and why he still gets the feeling that I don't like his wife. I don't, that's just the way it is), watching movies, and I had my yarn. It was a day well spent.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

What Can You Do?

Because most people have jobs, obligations, and responsibilities during the five middle days of the week, our homeowners association got moving today. In honor of Earth Day on Tuesday, we had a neighborhood clean-up.

It started bright and early at 0800. By 0915, we were done. Yes, it's not a very big neighborhood. And it's mostly clean to begin with. Eight people made rather short work of it. But, it felt good. It was nice to get out there with my mother, on the the streets we walk, ride, and live, and with a small number of our neighbors, filling up our bags with glass bottles and old fences and random bits of plastic. Making note of the old metal guardrail that ended up amongst the trees and the streetlights that need repair. I don't know the final count of full bags of trash, it wasn't much, but I feel accomplished for having done it. I think I would have regretted it all day if I had not.

It is refreshing to know that most of our neighborhood is fairly clean. We were able to identify the trouble spots, where the teenagers hang after curfew, and we can keep an eye on them. For us, our homes, our community, and our little piece of the planet, it was a beautiful morning to spend walking and chatting with neighbors and getting something done.

After shopping, I smeared some mud on my head that is setting right now. It feels like even more that I'm doing to help the planet. No chemicals, just a concoction of henna and lemon juice. It's not always feasible to do things in a more natural way, but when it is, it feels like you're still doing something good.

Spring is springing. The cars are colored in a glowing green coat of pollen. The trees are dropping little seed pods into the tiniest opening of car windows. And Lady Vox sat on her rock shedding what must have been every centimeter of her. My little girl is growing! They're both about a year old now.

There are so many ways to love the Spring.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Hug a Bear

I finished the bear I was working on; the one that failed that resulted in the sundae. The best picture I could get was it being cuddled by a dozing Miss Luna.

I'm glad she didn't tear it up!

This bear was made with a pattern that I had to alter to make it work as I was using a smaller hook. I started on another bear from my book after finishing this one.

I also mixed up a henna potion so I can spend some time with mud on my head tomorrow.

Other than the fact that today's weather was gorgeous, that's all I can say about today.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

What I've Been Up To

I mentioned that my sister-in-law's darling animals and some tips got me crocheting in a new way (or, a way that I haven't been able to do successfully to my liking before). I started off rather large to get a feel for it, and because it was the only size hook I could find, using patterns in a book. The first is a brown pig.

The pig took about three hours. Next, I made an owl, about the same size, with the same brown yarn.

This also took about three hours. I wanted to do better on the pig, so I bought a smaller hook and found some cool hot pink yarn.

I think this one took four hours to complete. The eyes on this little piggy are knots. Then I tried to make a bear. I followed the pattern and did something wrong. So, I made it into something else.

The cherry on top is actually a Celtic knot from another of my books. The spoon fits in the dish. I was really happy with how this one turned out, as there were no patterns for this one.

Here's the lot of them.

And in case you want to know, I'm working on the bear that I didn't successfully do the first time.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Getting to the End

I almost walked out on my job today.

I can't even go into details about it, I'm so angry.

I've been cleaning out my desk. I'm going to take three bags of stuff (why do I have so much unnecessary stuff?) and my plant home today, and two more bags tomorrow. I will not do what they are demanding of me.

On the bright side, if I leave my job, I'll have plenty of time to focus on finding a new one.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

No Go

I ended up telling Monty that I wasn't going to give him all that information. There are three reasons.

The first is that I'm not applying for a loan, he was trying to get me pre-qualified. All of that information should be unnecessary if we're not yet talking about an actual loan. And the other company that did give me a loan did not need all of that.

The second is that he offered to do this a month ago - when I was supposed to settle on the house. He is just now moving forward with this. That ship has already sailed, he took too long. I hope he deals with this clients better than his friends.

The third reason is that I've tried to support Monty's business before, and he's failed to come through. The previous time was when he owned a video rental and store. I placed two orders through him, one came in wrong and one never came in at all. I had to tell him that I would be more willing to divulge that insane amount of personal information (though I still insist that bank statements are not relevant, no one needs to know my banking history) if he had proven to be a reliable businessman. This month-long delay served to confirm that.

We're hoping to get together this weekend. I think we'll sit around and watch some anime. We haven't done that for a while.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Saving the World

I worked too hard yesterday. I got a WOW from Adolf for it, but I did work way too hard for a Sunday. It's ok, because it reflects well on me and ensures they will continue to offer me overtime (albeit I don't want it on weekends). If there's one thing I know I am, it's a good worker.

WAM attempted to brag about all the work she got done this weekend. I didn't really respond. I'm not interested, it's none of my business, and I would have blown her out of the water with my own numbers. She said her piece and went away.

Until later. There were a handful of jobs left in the queues after I got done yesterday. These were things I can't do on an early Sunday morning, when few businesses and fewer banks are open. These numbered a little less than thirty jobs.

Just around lunchtime, WAM came stomping up to me all upset because she couldn't talk to anyone in HR at the moment because they were all busy. Then she told me that Adolf had assigned her those less-than-thirty jobs, then added a good two hundred to their number and gave them to someone else to do, forgetting to tell WAM they were reassigned. WAM stomped over in a huff because she wasn't told that they were done. Yes, gentle blog readers, WAM was complaining because of the less work she had to do.

I should know better by now than to give her my actual opinions, but I did it anyway. I told her I thought she was making it out to be a bigger deal than it really was, that it looked like an oversight on the part of Adolf but isn't really worth getting all hot and bothered over. She stomped away.

I'm pretty sure she had her discussion with someone in HR anyway, but really! I guess she never learned that it's wise to pick her battles and let other things go.

Remember when Monty was working on helping me find a loan? Apparently, he took almost a month hiatus and is now ready to continue. I'm inclined to give up on that front. Particularly because he didn't feel it was urgent enough at the time to follow through, and now he wants to. I think it's just a little too late, and I'm not sure how much of my personal information I want to give him now. He's asking for copies of three months of bank statements, my social security card, my driver's license, the last two paystubs, and my W-2 from 2007 and 2006. It all seems a little excessive just to get prequalified for a loan, particularly when the place that actually did approve a loan (even though it was not enough) needed only two documents with the application. I don't see what half of those are important to them.

Monty likes to claim that he's good at his job, but I really don't think he's able to do anything for me. I've never thought that of him, and this isn't the first time I've attempted to support his business and he did not deliver. Of course, that could also be related to the problems that arise when a friendship gets put into a business relationship.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Forget the Setbacks


...having to go all the way to work on a Sunday;

...a little timing misunderstanding;

...the forecast for rain;

...needing to stop and eat;

...not exactly remembering the way;

...forgetting the map; and

...the stable being an hour behind

we did get our ride! (Sorry, Fox has all the pictures.)

I went to work in the wee hours of the morning and gave them five hours of my day. Pat was here and another came in during that time, but it was otherwise rather quiet. The three of us left together as another was coming in, and I called Fox on my way. He thought when I said "I'll be home around 1100" meant "I'll leave the office around 1100." It doesn't matter, we both pulled into my drive around 1130.

We lingered in the house a little bit; I showed of some of the crochet I've been doing (I think you, dear blog readers, need pictures!) and Fox got to watch Naggy and Vox hunt down some yummy crickets. I picked out a selection of coats and jackets because it was rather chilly out and there was no telling what it would be like at the stable, then it was off to Panera for lunch, where we lingered a little bit too.

After eating and stopping for gas, we were merrily on our way for a 1430 ride. At times, it looked like it would actually rain, but it really didn't do more than a few drops here and there. We forgot the Carroll County map and had to get to the stable just on memory. Thankfully, we did remember the roads we needed to be on as we came upon them and got to the stable exactly at 1430, to watch a group of riders head out on the trail.

The owner told us they were running behind, so we stood around in the cold for an hour. It wasn't so bad. We watched Ghost escape the pasture and one of the young stable hands nearly get trampled by Dakota. We met a few of their rescue dogs and I almost got a kiss from a Great Dane mix (yike!). Then the trail riders came back and we were mounted and off.

Fox rode Alaska, who I think was a leopard appaloosa mare, and I was riding Lopez, a sooty bay gelding. There was a group of three other riders and a front and rear trail guide. The front trail guide rode one of the most beautiful horses I've ever seen. He was a dark liver chestnut (a very dark, almost black, brown color with flashes of bright burgundy in the light) and walked with his head held high.

One of the other riders was terrified of her horse, claiming in a rather questionable way that she had been thrown two times prior, so they put her on the mellow Bonanza. You may remember Bonanza as Fox's first mount, in 2006 when we started riding. She wasn't the being in control, however, and Bonanza took the trail at his own extremely slow pace. Thankfully, I wasn't going to let her get in front of me, and Lopez was happy to oblige. Fox wasn't going to let her in front of me either, and Alaska reluctantly hung behind me.

During our rather slow ride, we saw a beautiful whitetail deer, and there was another on the ridge, but I missed that one.

It wasn't so cold once we were out on the trail, and we were fairly hungry after our ride. We spent an hour in a New Age bookstore then met Fae for dinner at a Mexican restaurant.

There could have been a lot of setbacks today, but we didn't let anything get in the way of a much-needed outing. It's hard to believe it's been almost a year since we last rode a trail together. I hope we can do it again too. I really enjoy it, and I really like going to this stable. Every time I'm there, I feel like I want my own horse someday (that would, of course, have to be boarded there). Well, maybe some day.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Early to Bed

Of necessity and without glee.

I'm going to work very early tomorrow so that it doesn't suck up all of my day. Fox and I still plan to go riding. I'll be tired, but I'd rather do that than feel like I wasted my whole day at work.

Friday, April 11, 2008

I Skipped Breakfast Today

I know I shouldn't, and I even really like the oatmeal that I brought, I just didn't take the time to prepare it. I had two cups of yummy kona blend coffee instead. I know, that's not food, but if I eat it now, I'll spoil my lunch! I almost grabbed some hummus from the fridge this morning, I wish I had, that sure would be yummy!

TG came by my desk yesterday and saw a deck of tarot cards next to some notes. She got all giddy and insisted that I do a reading for her. Well, we're not on the same schedule and she takes her lunch break at a different time than I do, but I'm sure we can work something out. She has already called me three times this morning: to ask if we can do it today, to tell me it will have to be another time because she has to go home for something, and to say we're back on because she's not going home after all. That girl is crazy!

WAM saw my cards too and got all giddy, but she didn't want a reading (I couldn't read for her anyway, for reasons that are multiple that I won't go into), instead she started to tell me about all the people she knows who read and who I should talk to about learning (I've been working with cards for more than a dozen years) and her wonderful psychic. I know she means well, usually.

Since TG wants to use my lunch break for cards, I think I should eat at least my sandwich before heading out. That way, I won't be chewing peanut butter and trying to tell her that Death doesn't really mean death (just as an example, Death may not come up at all!). And, since I told her I'd be taking lunch a little later, so she won't be taking lunch that much sooner, I won't have to wait any longer to eat my first meal of the day.

I feel a little disconnected, I think I'm writing that way too, yes? It's probably the lack of food and the abundance of coffee!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Keeping Things Straight

Two websites, three blogs, six e-mail addresses, no wonder I can't keep everything straight! A couple weeks ago, I registered for something. I used one e-mail to send the registration, noted a second e-mail as the e-mail to reach me, and paid via PayPal that is attached to yet another e-mail address. Sheesh!

When I woke up this morning, it felt like Friday. That doesn't translate into very good Thursdays.

But, actually, my Thursday hasn't been all that bad. Excepting that I'm very tired because I didn't sleep well, and that I was thirty minutes late because of a big bad accident, and that I'm still pretty unhappy with my current work situation. On the other hand, our annual employee surveys came out today, so I'll use the end of my day to fill it out. I told WAM to be prepared for "angry typing."

I've only mentioned a former coworker, Dot, once. She's not here anymore, but she's the one who coined "angry typing." I'm quite an efficient typist, and when I'm angry or upset about something, I type even faster. So, those within earshot of my keyboard clicks know the difference between normal, enthused, and angry typing. Despite the fact that I often expect to get reprimanded for speaking my mind on our (supposedly anonymous) employee surveys, I speak my mind nonetheless. Or, would that be type my mind?

Maybe some day I'll get a new keyboard that doesn't make so much noise when someone is typing faster than the computer can keep up. Seriously, IT guys have a problem when they need to work on something at my desk, and it's not just because I have my mouse on the left; some of the important letters are rubbed off! Letters like E, R, S, D, F, C, V, I, L, N, M, and A and T are on the way out. They always ask me if I want a new one because I can't see the letters. What do I need letters on the keyboard for? The eyes on the tips of my fingers know exactly where they are!

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

To Further Show

WAM got a talking to about her low overtime numbers this morning. I happen to agree; what she can do in two or more hours I can do in thirty minutes. But, with WAM, all I can do is listen politely and appear sympathetic.

Then, Adolf asked me for overtime. This week won't really work because I was off on Monday (and therefore won't actually get paid overtime for the overtime hours I work), but Adolf is insisting that the overtime they need calls for coming in on the weekend. I can't do that work in the morning or evenings during the week when I'm already in the area. No, I have to put more miles on my car and burn more gas (which the company is not going to compensate me for) and use my free time, weekends being the only time I get, to come in and help out a group that's too lazy to get their work done during the day.

The overtime that I do get paid is not worth this.

And, do you think Adolf comes in on the weekend? How about any of those guys who are not getting the job done during the week? Or, the people in the other group who should know how to do this stuff too? Additionally, the work that is needed is something I'm not particularly proficient at doing.

Fox and I were going to go riding on Sunday, but that's the day they want me to come in to work (and the previous and following Saturday too). Maybe I should call out sick again for them to realize that I am not happy being commanded to give them my weekends. I give them enough of my life. You know, commanded isn't even the right word. It's bullied. I'm being bullied into giving them my weekends. But then they start singing the "mandatory" song and there's nothing I can do if I want to keep my job (and I know better than to quit without having some other job).

All work and no play make for some very unhappy peons. And some very unhappy friends of peons too.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

This Place is Making Me Sick

I didn't go to work yesterday. I woke up feeling miserable, I had a headache and felt nauseous. It wasn't a cold or virus, it was the mental stress of my job manifesting in my physical body. So, I spent the day sitting in front of movies surrounded by cats and crocheting. I don't crochet nearly as awesomely as Moon, but I was able to refine a few projects so they came out successfully based on the handful of pointers she gave me on Saturday.

I couldn't take another day off, so I'm back at work. Feeling sick. I feel dizzy and groggy and like I want to curl up with a blanket and a couple warm kitties and sleep. My body aches like it does when it gets a really nasty flu. But other than that, I feel fine. No coughing, no runny nose, no fever, there is nothing wrong with me.

It must be this place.

A former coworker and friend, Sunrising, works for a government contractor. I've recently reconnected with her on a completely not work related matter, and she said she would be happy to pass my resume on to their HR department. This could not have come at a more opportune time; my current job is making me sick. I'm not yet at the point where I'd rather be unemployed than deal with this place (that's the point I reached at the pharmacy), because I have goals and those scumsuckers aren't going to deter me. But, I also have a right to work at a place that doesn't make me ill.

Maybe all corporations are like this, but I think it usually takes a while to manifest. I've never spent more than five years in any one job anyway, though stability is nice.

Part of my task for yesterday was supposed to be polishing the resume and checking out what job opening at Sunrising's company seems appropriate for me, but I never got that far. That will be this evening's task. I also need to write up something for something I'm doing in May. I'll take care of that this evening too. No rest for the sick at work!

Sunday, April 06, 2008

The Soothsayer of Doom

Today was brunch day. We decided to go to the Kilarney House (a great little Irish place in Davidsonville) rather than our regular Buddy's in Annapolis. We didn't get to make that nice walk, but we did have better food and a more sophisticated atmosphere.

The Soothsayer of Doom is a friend and brunch regular who was telling us a story of her husband's recent kayaking mishap. I'm not going to retell it here, how about I just say it involved cold water and waste-deep sludge. Oh, and not calling so someone knew where he was. He's going to get a lecture about that from Fox and I when next we talk.

After brunch, Fox joined mom and I for some shopping at Trader Joe's and wandering around the shopping mall, since we didn't get our walk in because of the location of brunch and the rain.
That's it for the day!

Saturday, April 05, 2008

Road Trip

Mom and I went to visit my brother and sister-in-law at their new-to-us house in rural Virginia, to take my brother out to dinner for his birthday which was two weeks ago.

Hello, run-on sentence!

My brother's place is amazing. They have a cute little house that sits on nearly two acres of land that happens to be zoned for light agriculture. They hope to put a big fence around it (to protect it from all the residential plots on all sides) and maybe do some light agriculture things. Like keep chickens, alpaca, bees, have a little veggie garden, that kind of thing. The land also features lots of trees, an in-ground pool, and some sakura that were planted by a previous owner. SIL, Moon, said bro wanted to cut those trees down, but she convinced him to wait until spring so they could find out what they were. Imagine their surprise when they found a little grove of blooming sakura back there! It was also nice to see Ichus again.

We spent some time playing with their Wii, then we had a late lunch at Red Lobster, where we all ate way too much. Then we headed back to the house where we chatted over digesting and Moon got a chance to show off the amazing things she makes in her spare time (with hopes to turn it into a more lucrative business). Check out her incredible talent at Moon's Creations. You'll also find a link to her blog on the right.

Mom and I really had a great day visiting. It was like a little vacation, particularly since it takes us three hours to get there. We'll try to go again in June for Moon's birthday. I don't see nearly enough of them.

Friday, April 04, 2008

Learning Curve

Apparently, the learning curve in my office means that you are new for years and can never do wrong, even when you do wrong.

It's more like a level curve, actually. The people who have not progressed past the first level in their department are expected to be wrong, and the people who have are expected to be perfect and always correct the mistakes made by those who have never been promoted (not those people themselves).

My managers even admitted that my frustrations were warranted and that one of the things that someone had a problem with wasn't actually bad, it was just perceived bad, and that's my problem. They can do no wrong, I do all the wrong.

I can't be unemployed, I must comply.

For now.

LDS thinks we should go into business for ourselves. I think we should offer humanity coaching for corporations. We'll teach corporations how to deal with employed humans.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Best Not to Ask

I had something great and deep and insightful for you today (actually, it was just a little rant about work), but I'm not going to write it. I'm incredibly frustrated. I'm missing two things that I really want to use right now, and I can't find them anywhere. My world was a mess, but I knew were everything was. Now that I'm busy cleaning and organizing and trashing, my world is a bigger mess and I know where nothing is.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

This is Why I Have No Faith in the US Judicial System

I received a letter in the mail today informing me that the State of Maryland is not going to prosecute a case involving a name I don't recognize. That's all the letter stated.

So, being the researcher that I am, I hit the Internet, found the site for the District Court of Maryland (of Anne Arundel County where I do not live, no less), looked up the case number and sat baffled at the total lack of information contained therein.

This, apparently, was a criminal case of a theft of less than $500 that occured on February 19th of 2002. Ok...where was I in 2002....

The only thing this could possibly be about is a theft that happened while I was working as AssMan at the pharmacy in Annapolis. It took them six years to decide not to do anything with this case.

To top it all off, this was a petty theft that doesn't even compare with the incident that made me leave the pharmacy and not look back: the one where I was assaulted by a shoplifter but the company cared more about the thousands worth of perfume that was stolen some week or two later. Someone hit me, actually elbowed me in the ribs while pushing me aside and yes, it did leave a mark, but who cares? They were busy trying to fry this fish who took less than $500 worth of portable CD players.

When things are more important than people, you know you're in a bad situation. And when it takes six years to determine that it's not worth the bother of pursuing after all, you know you have a very flawed system.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

It's Been Two Weeks

I talked to the sales lady today. She said that to sell one of those houses, she needs a letter from the current owners, which they haven't turned in yet. However, one of the neighbors asked the sales lady if they were selling, because they saw the current owners moving things out. This confirmed to the sales lady that they do, in fact, intend to sell and are just preparing.

She didn’t give me a time frame in which to call her back, but I’ll give it another two weeks. I’m expecting to hear from her before that. Moving probably won't be this month, but all is not lost. The current owners need more time to get the place ready for new occupants (aka, me and two cats and two dragons and their food), and that gives me more time to work and save (even though it seems like I can't count on overtime anymore)..

I don't think I told you about the overtime admonishment. I don't feel like talking about it now, though. I've been spending the day dreaming about an event at the beginning of May that I really want to go to, that's not that expensive (actually, I think it's rather cheap!) and proves to be a lot of fun. This means not a lot of work is getting done by me today. Oh well!