Dumb Supper

The Dumb Supper has been one of my favorite autumnal rituals since I first learned about it nearly twenty years ago. I consider it an autumnal ritual because I most often hold it around the time of Samhain, but it can actually be done at any time at all. It is sometimes called a Silent Supper, because many people forget that dumb means "silent or mute" or a Backwards Supper, because the meal courses are served in reverse order. Some traditions use it as a divination ritual, to learn about the future from the spirits of the dead, and some as a seance, to give messages to and receive messages from the spirits of the dead. To me, it is communion; an act of sharing a meal, in itself a sacred ritual the world over, with the spirits of the dead. So, for me, the purpose of the meal is to invite the spirits of our loved ones who have passed to spend some time and share a meal with us. Even if no one comes, a place is set for them. It can also be used to commune with your gods rather than the spirits of the deceased. In this way, you are not asking for anything, but more inviting them to table to thank them for their involvement in your life.

My Dumb Supper is a ritual of my own design, based on research and information I have found from other traditions. I try to do one every year (if not on or around Samhain, some other time of the year is fine; the period between Samhain and Yule is best for me. Beltane is also a good choice.) but it has been a while since I was able to. Now that things have settled down and my life has picked a direction and started on it, it's time to bring this ritual back into my tradition.

Preparation

Before you start cooking and setting the dining area, you should bathe (many rituals start with cleansing). If you are invited to a Dumb Supper, bathe before you leave. You can wear your ritual garb or nice dinner attire, black would not be amiss.

The dining area (this can be the every day table or the formal table) is thoroughly cleaned and smudged. I like to curtain it off, to physically separate it from the rest of the space, but that is not always possible. The table is dressed with a black cloth, and a black cloth is draped over the seat at the head of the table; this is the Spirit Chair. The table is set with black plates and utensils if possible, your finest tableware if not, and all seats, including the Spirit Chair, get a place setting. Utensils, cups, and side dishes are placed on the opposite side than where you would normally put them (this is one of the 'backwards' bits). Window curtains are drawn and black candles are set out on the table and around the room if necessary - they will be the only source of light. It is helpful to include things like salt and pepper and pitchers of whatever the beverage is set along the table so every diner is in reach of the things he or she might need without having to ask for them. Labels that identify what things are might help, also place cards so people can find their seats easily, if that is necessary. I cast a sacred circle around the dining area after the table is set. It is sacred space and no one should enter it until the ritual has begun (it could be argued that the ritual has already begun with your cleansing, as the preparations should be performed in mindfulness, so I'll say no one should enter before the meal is ready to be served). The setting of the table and preparation of sacred space is done before guests arrive.

The meal itself can be as many courses as you like, but it should be at least three - soup/salad/appetizer, main course, and dessert. A potluck would be fine. I tend to precede it with a fast. Many traditions recommend preparing food that was favored by the deceased, but don't concern yourself with that if you can't think of anything in particular, or if you are holding your Dumb Supper to honor your gods.

Beginning

You are allowed to speak outside of the ritual space, but the mood should be somber and mindful. Once the meal begins, you do not speak until indicated, whether you are within the ritual space or not. I use a bell to indicate the start and end of the silent period of the ritual. When the bell is rung, it is time to be silent and wait for instructions from your host (a good host will tell you what to expect before the silent period).

Some suppers might include writing messages to your loved ones. You will share them with no one. Write them before the silent period begins and take them with you into the sacred space. If messages are in your ritual, be sure to put a fire proof container, such as a cauldron, at the place setting of the Spirit Chair. The messages will be lit with a nearby candle and placed in the cauldron at the appointed time.

When the bell is rung, no more talking. Turn your phone off (please don't even bring it into the sacred space). All electronic lights should be turned off and curtains drawn so unnatural light does not bleed into the dining area (as much as can be helped. My last home had a bright street lamp right in front and it didn't matter how closed the blinds were, there was always light from it). Your host may ask you to turn off a light or light a candle at the start of the silent period to help out: do this when the bell is rung. The host and designated helpers, if any, will bring the food into the ritual space at this time. Some traditions say to put the food on a side table, I say work with what you have. It has worked perfectly fine to have the food on the dining table, so people may take seconds if they want, as long as they remain in the current course.

The Ritual Meal

When the food is laid out, the host will indicate that it is time to enter the sacred space and take your seats. Remember, we're already in the silent period of the ritual, so you have to pay attention. Perhaps there will be another bell rung or some other audible but non-spoken cue. As you enter the space, walk around the room counterclockwise, stop at the Spirit Chair (even if you have to pass your own seat first) and give it a silent blessing or thanks or otherwise (silently!) acknowledge the role that the spirits/gods play in this ritual, then continue counterclockwise around the room to your seat and sit down.

When everyone is seated, join hands and bless your meal silently. The host will then serve the first course: dessert (remember, backwards!). The Spirit Chair is served first, followed by the guests youngest to oldest. No one eats until everyone is served. Before the silent period, the host should have told you what to do to indicate you are done with that course, it could be putting your napkin over your plate (usually this is reserved for the end) or moving your dessert plate out of the way. If you wish a second helping, serve yourself (but remember there is more meal). When everyone has finished with the first course, the host will serve the second: the main dish and any sides, in the same order. Again, serve yourself if you want more, and you should already know what to do to indicate you are done. Once again, the host will serve the final course: soup/salad/appetizer, depending on what you're having. Put your napkin over your plate to indicate you are done (if this was the signal your host told you to do). Do not forget that the meal is taken in complete silence. No conversation!

When everyone has finished eating, it is time to give your messages, if your ritual involves messages. The host will indicate who begins (usually the same as served order). Go to the Spirit Chair and read your message (silently) if you wish, or silently tell the spirits/gods what you want them to know, light your paper and place it in the cauldron to burn. If you require assistance with this, the host should be there to help you. After you have placed your message in the cauldron, walk clockwise around the room and leave the sacred space. Do not speak while others perform this part of the ritual even though you are no longer in sacred space.

When the last person, usually the host, has delivered his message, the host and any designated helpers will reenter the sacred space to remove and package any leftover food, clear the table of dishes, extinguish candles in the dining area. The host will then ring the bell to indicate the silent period is over.

Ending

At this point, your ritual can carry whatever tone you want. It can be somber and reflective, it can be joyous and jovial. You can play music or tell stories or send everyone home. I have been to some suppers where the guests discuss their experience after the silent period ends. The meal left at the Spirit Chair can remain all night, though I have never been able to do this (cats would not leave it undisturbed). I take it out and give it to the Earth in offering.

If your Dumb Supper is a ritual of divination, where you are expecting to receive messages from the deceased, you may extend the silent period to include meditating and being ready to receive messages, or you may end the silent period as above and expect to receive messages at a later time -perhaps in dreams that night.

I find this ritual comforting, similar to visiting the grave of a loved one, a way to honor those who have passed and remember, and possibly tell them, what they meant to you.

Happy Samhain, Happy New Year

Samhain is one of the most important holidays in the witch's calendar. It marks the third and final harvest, where livestock is slaughtered and meat prepared for the long dark winter months. It is one of two times when the veil between the world of the living and the world of the dead is thinnest. Rituals often include messages to loved ones who have gone before, or ancestors unknown, or even a dumb supper. This also makes it a great time for divination. The fae folk are on the move with other incorporeal creatures that walk the Earth on this night. It is also regarded by many as the new year. The old year ends and begins on this day, and many people include things they want to leave behind and thinks they wish to gain during rituals. It marks the symbolic death of the god in the shortening of daylight hours, until he is born again at Yule. I call this period the Dark of the Sun, as the yearly cycle of the sun reflects the monthly cycle of the moon.

This has always been a very special holiday for me. The autumn is my favorite time of year, this holiday occurs during the month of my birth, and the magick of the world feels stronger than ever. This also makes the very first ritual I was able to share with a local ministry I have been working with since I went to their festival at Beltane. I was excited at being able to join them in ritual, and not the slightest bit nervous.

The evening started with preparations. There was paper to write a message to love ones who had passed on to be burned in the ritual bonfire. We made wooden and fabric poppets to represent something we wanted to be rid of, or something we wanted to take with us into the year. I made one of each.

The group of sixteen participants (and one to stand outside the circle as a protector - I need to research this concept, in fifteen years of my own practice, I have never heard of such a position) walked gaily to the ritual circle and then quietly prepared ourselves as we were cleansed one by one. During the course of the ritual, each person was given the opportunity to throw their message and/or their poppet into the flame and say a few words about it or not as they saw fit. My poppet was a representation of the many things that happened to me this year that I needed to leave behind me. This was mostly low points that I had given far more energy to than they needed. My letter was to my maternal grandfather, Poppop. About three years ago, he sent me a message, a loud and clear message, and I finally got the chance to tell him I had received it. He passed on when I was very young, and I think the time we would have shared was taken from us. My other poppet is to remind me of my own strength, and it will stay on my altar until next Samhain.

After everyone sent their messages or gave to the fire what needed to be left behind, we did something very special. It was four years ago Samhain that the sacred space of this place was dedicated. In their attempts to gain non-profit status with the government, they are becoming much more public and the space needs more protection than ever. We raised energy and cast a vast shield around the property, to protect it, those who dwell there, and those who come and go in perfect love and trust. It was beautiful.

When the ritual ended, we moved to another bonfire and told crazy stories into the night.

I am happy that my first ritual with this group, my chosen family, was so special. I am pleased to have been welcomed into their circle, and I know we can all learn and grow from each other.

Samhain Ritual

My evening started a little later than I would have preferred. My current living situation demands it. Also, sometimes a travel altar must be used, and circumstances called for that last night.

As you can see, I used a purple altar cloth. The pentacle was in the middle, and the symbols of the four elements were around it: a geode for North, a small wand for East, a candle for South, and a shell for West. My most-used tarot deck is close at hand, along with a very special stone that is a combination of prehnite and epidote that was gifted to me by an incredibly special lady. (The properties of this stone aid in divination and healing.) The tool that didn’t make it into the picture is the working wand that I used in this ritual; a small shaft of rosewood that was carved and given to me by a very dear friend (I think it was rosewood. My friend will kick me if I don’t get this right!).

This ritual, when broken down into its components, will seem rather simple. The first task after the quarters were called and the Lord and Lady invited was to meditate and commune with the souls of those who have passed during the previous year. During this part, I was also joined by my guides. They all had messages for me, and I was also open to receive them through the night. (Sorry, these messages are for me!) The second task was giving to the Crone all the things I do not want to carry with me into the new year. These were issues that were causing me much stress and it did not help me to hold on to them. The Crone will then take them with her and turn them into good, positive energy for me and the world.

The last part of my ritual involved a special "Wheel of the Year" tarot spread. Eight cards are placed in a wheel around the prehnite/epidote stone (this stone is a new addition to the exercise, though I do an annual reading every year). The first card covers the period between now and Yule: a hasty retreat, there will be arguments and some uncertain advice, but I am not running as fast as I think I am. The second card is for the time between Yule and Imbolc: it has been a long, slow, and hard struggle, but the destination is in sight if I press on a little further. The next card is for the period between Imbolc and Ostara: there is sorrow and delay, everything will look bleak, but that does not mean it truly is. For the time between Ostara and Beltaine: I will be hard at work at something, this something is seen and appreciated by others, my effort will not go unnoticed. After Beltaine and before Midsummer, I will find someone in my life who can lend me courage and guidance. The period between Midsummer and Lughnasadh will be a preparation, and will be filled with thoughts of the things I will be leaving behind. Leading up to Mabon, I will find myself with new ideas, deep in concentration about some news. The last period between Mabon and Samhain will be reflective and meditative about the things that have transpired.

By the cards, that is the year I am facing. It looks like the first part will be difficult if I let it, but the last half will improve and see things coming my way.

Not a bad way to end the year! And I hope this year will bring all of you the brightest of blessings throughout.

Happy Samhain!

Samhain is a complicated festival; there is much going on. It's the final harvest: the fields are barren of grain and fruit and the animals that cannot be sustained through the winter are slaughtered for their meat. This is considered the New Year by many Wiccans. It is one of two times a year when the veil between the world of the living and the world of spirits is the thinnest. Both can cross over it easily during this time. In the nature symbolism, the Lord has reached the end of his time and dies. Without his light, the winter days are cold and short.

Since the veil between worlds is thin, communication with spirits of those who have passed in the previous year are common. This also makes it an excellent night for divination.

On this night, with the passing of the previous year, I commune with the people who have left this incarnation before me, and with my guides who may have special messages for me. I also do some form of divination, this year will be tarot cards, to get a feel for the coming year. The last part of my ritual involves giving to the Crone the things that I do not wish to carry with me into the new year.

My Samhain ritual changes only slightly from year to year. I'll tell you all about it starting tomorrow.

(And for those of you in the southern hemisphere, Happy Beltaine to you!)