Tuesday, September 13, 2016

The Turning Point

The truth is, I can't pinpoint it. There probably was no "point" at all but a gradual shift, as meaningful changes often are.

I started veiling daily on Samhain 2012. After much reflection, meditation, and searching, I knew it was something I needed to do. In recent months, I've been feeling a pull away from veiling. This gave me pause because it was something I was so sure was supposed to be a part of me. I had known it since childhood. I rejected this new feeling. It couldn't possibly be right. Veiling was right.

The funny thing about accepting something you need to do is that you also must be open to the time when you don't need it anymore. The truth is, I was in a very different place in my life in 2012. Not necessarily worse (unless you consider the terrible company I worked for) but different. Physically, spiritually, emotionally different. This new place along the journey of my life doesn't seem to need what I needed four years ago. It's no surprise really, but I do tend to hold on to things even when I no longer need them in the same way. So I needed more reflection, more meditation, more searching.

That's the journey. After four years of veiling when outside my home every day, I don't need that anymore. I don't need to stop veiling completely either. I will veil for Sabbat and Esbat days, I will veil for any rituals in addition to those days, and I will veil when I need to - perhaps a low energy day or an everything's annoying me day or something.  

It took a conversation with my friend Heather, who is experiencing a similar shift in her veiling journey, to accept how this calling is changing and to realize how it needs to change. But I'm very excited. As much as I knew four years ago that I needed to veil, I know now that I don't need it as much as I did. I don't even approach donning my veil every morning as I used to, which was probably my first sign that it's not doing what it once did for me.

Mabon, the Autumnal Equinox, is a perfect time for letting go of things that no longer serve you, reflected in the trees losing their leaves (eventually - it certainly feels like summer is still in full swing even with Mabon just about a week away). It's also a good time for "fall cleaning," again clearing away things that are no longer necessary. In that vein, I went through my entire vast scarf collection, putting some in little baggies to coordinate with the energies of the Sabbats and Esbats and holding on to my absolute favorites. The rest (that's 71 scarves as of this writing and I still have more to go through) are going into a box to sell or (more likely) donate. Downsizing my scarf collection is probably the hardest part of this, but I don't need so many! I really only wear just a small handful on a daily basis now as it is.

I'm excited to start doing fun things with my hair again. It's the longest it has ever been now. I should be able to pull off 7-strand braids to great effect! I've been reading up on victory rolls and I could dig out my spiral curlers again. My greys are coming in silver and I actually quite love them, though I could get tired of them in a week and need some color. I'm taking bets now on how many people at my office are going to faint when I show up on the 23rd after Mabon without my veils.

The seasons change. My spiritual needs change. It is a beautiful time to embrace change.

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