Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Equality

I know some of you are thinking "oh, no, is she really going to open this can of worms?" Yes, I will, because it's about basic rights and if your basic rights were being denied, you'd want someone to stand with you too.

I was pleased to see so many red equality symbols from the Human Rights Campaign among my Facebook friends yesterday. Even fan pages were showing support, and even fan pages for things that are not US-based. It was refreshing to see so much open support for such a hot topic.



I try to stay out of them, the hot topics (not Hot Topic, which is a pretty cool place to shop on the rare occasion I get to one), because my acquaintances are diverse and I try to be respectful even when I don't agree. But changing my profile picture for a couple days doesn't argue with anyone, which is really what I want to avoid. I'm not going to change anyone's mind and they're not going to change mine, so I try not to argue.

See, I'm fortunate. I'm female and I'm attracted to males and no one really has a problem with that. I'm fortunate that the right to marry whom I will (assuming whom I will also wants me) has never been denied me. Now, I've dated men of darker skin tones than I, one of them wasn't even born in this country, and there was a time when that would have been scandalous. But it's not so anymore, the laws changed and there is no problem with the mixing of skin colors in the eyes of the law. There is still a problem in the eyes of some people, and I experienced plenty of that, but we could have been married if we wanted to be. Things change. They have in the past and we can only hope they will continue to do so.

I'm pagan, I don't hide this. I'm an Eclectic Hermetic Wiccan Quaker. (There really isn't a word for what I believe, which is kinda cool when you get right down to it.) The main and supreme tenet of my belief is a part of the Wiccan Rede, "An it harm none, do what ye will." Harm none. Simple. Yes, it is impossible to go through life never harming another living thing, but it is possible to go through life without intent to harm another living thing, and intent is everything in my faith.

So, I support marriage equality. Why? Because it doesn't hurt anybody. Two consenting adults who want to share their lives and become their own family unit does not hurt me, and it does not hurt you, and it does not hurt the Earth, it does not hurt the children (http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/early/2013/03/18/peds.2013-0376). That's the truth. Simple.

The primary argument against marriage equality often sites the Bible as the reason. I'm not going to go into why I feel the Bible argument is wrong, but I will say the Bible argument is irrelevant. The United States of America is not a theocracy. If your god does not allow same-sex marriage, that's fine, just remember that your god's laws do not apply to everyone. And nor should they. My god's laws do not apply to everyone either. That is why I wear a veil and you may not and that's ok. Your beliefs are yours and no one is asking you to change them. What we are asking is that you keep them out of the federal laws, those are the laws that everyone must follow regardless of personal belief. That's really what it comes down to. If your dogma believes it's wrong, just don't do it. I don't understand why you think everyone has to follow your laws.

The other side of that is that the government can't make a properly registered and recognized church do anything. They can't make a church authority perform a same-sex marriage if such a thing disagrees with that church's dogma. Anyone trying to make that happen is not on the right path.

The bottom line: Live, let live, don't discriminate, and if it's not hurting you or someone else, it's not a battle worth fighting.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Crochet Drink Cozy and Wrist Cuff

Hello, dear readers! I don't know how many of you are hookers like me, but I decided that I need to share this crazy easy pattern with you! 



Dav had a party a couple Saturdays ago. It was an old video game and beer party! He handed me my first beer of the evening and it was cold- as beer should be!- but too cold on my hand. So, I grabbed my yarn and a hook and whipped up a cozy for my bottle. I made another one for someone at the party too. They work up fast and will also fit around a soda can or a water bottle and possibly even a travel coffee cup. It's stretchy enough to fit over some hands so you can wear it around your wrist when you're in between drinks! 


Crochet Drink Cozy and Wrist Cuff

Materials:
Worsted Weight Yarn
US size G hook
Yarn needle

Gauge:
Gauge is not important for this project, but you do want to work somewhat loosely

Instructions:
Work in back loops for the entire project

Chain 27, turn

Row 1: hdc in third ch from hook and in each ch across, turn (24 hdc and a ch 2)
Rows 2 through 8: ch 2 (counts as first hdc), hdc in next st and in each st across, turn 
Fasten off, leave long tail for sewing.

Fold in half and sew the short sides together (you could also sc them together). Weave in ends.

That's it! For the two-colored green and brown one, I made 6 rows of green following the pattern above and then added the brown as the 7th row and one on the other side of the foundation chain. You could also start with brown, crochet 6 rows of green, and switch back to brown for the final row. That was the first one I made and 6 rows was a little too narrow to protect my hand from the cold of the bottle, so I added two more rows. You could also add or subtract rows as you wish. Larger handed or wristed people may want to add stitches to get it to fit as a cuff, but keep in mind that may make it too big to fit snugly around a bottle. 

About gauge and tension: I never ever measure gauge. I describe the tension as loose, but remember I'm used to amigurumi, almost everything else is 'loose' to me! If you really want to be sure, test your foundation chain around a bottle or your wrist, and add 2 ch for the first hdc. My gauge ended up about 3 hdc and 2 rows for an inch square. Finished dimensions are about 8 inches by 2 5/8 inches.

Happy crocheting! 




Legal stuff!
It is NOT okay to sell my pattern. If you wish to copy these instructions and post them to your own blog, include a link back here. You may print this out and pass it out among your friends for free. You may send people to my blog for a copy all you want.
Do not use my photographs without my permission.  
You may sell items made from this pattern, but you must credit me as the designer. 

Thursday, February 14, 2013

A Discovery


If you're one of my friends on Facebook, you've seen that my boss has finally decided to take issue with my head covering. Her argument is that it is a hat, and we have a "no hats of any kind" policy - of which I am fully aware. I first attempted to counter that my scarves are not hats, but she maintained it was. I explained it was part of my religious observance, she wanted to know what religion, what part of it requires me to veil, if I would be ejected from the faith if I did not veil, if there were any times when I did not veil. She implied that if I were a member of some faith that she had heard of and knew had a veiling practice, like Muslim or Quaker, than it would be ok, but because I'm a member of a faith she's never heard of and she doesn't understand why I veil or think that it is important to the practice of my faith, she's going to talk with Human Resources and see what they say.

I do not trust her to be unbiased about it, based on our conversation. I believe she will present the matter to HR in such a way as to interject her personal beliefs - it's not important to the practice of my faith, it's not required by my faith, no one has heard about my faith anyway, and a scarf is a hat. She will fish for the answer that she wants by making judgments on the validity of my practice, instead of accepting that exceptions to dress codes for religious observance need to be made. When I told her I could have my clergy write a letter to HR, she said that was not necessary. I suspect because once I get clergy involved it becomes an official matter of religious discrimination, and she won't get the answer that she wants. I have asked for that letter anyway.

I have also asked to meet with someone in HR. Because I can't trust my boss to be unbiased, I have to be able to present my case directly. I will also write a letter for them to have on file officially requesting the accommodation of my religious dress if they're going to argue that a scarf is a hat.

I was speaking to my Plain Quaker friend, Valerie, about it. She has offered to write a letter on my behalf as well, stating why Quakers veil and quoting scripture. But I'm not Quaker. Valerie explained thus:

"In my heart, everyone's good enough to be a Quaker, they just don't know I made'em one

I figured, we have Buddhist Quakers and Jewish Quakers and Muslim Quakers, there's enough room for ever'body in my boat, LOL

We have four types of Quaker meetings--pastoral, non-pastoral, which sounds like one's in the countryside but means with a preacher, or not.

And, we have Conservative, and Liberal. Conservative is me, I'm a Jesus hugger, and Liberal, which fits in other faiths as Quaker and doesn't require a belief in Jesus.

Overall, using society's terms, we are Conservative in that we believe in protecting the environment, being somewhat self-sufficient in caring for ourselves, pretty much against killing in any form (war, death penalty, mercy killing, etc.) But we are all very liberal in that we believe in protest, following what we feel is right rather than what a law says is right, direct line to God without intercessionaries, all men are created equal (to the point we do not use titles, even Judge or Doctor)."

With me so far? It means I could be a Pagan Quaker, or a Wiccan Quaker, and I would be considered a Liberal Quaker. Then she sent me to this site and this site which led me here and here. (Click on these links, dear readers! I'm soooo excited about these!)

Frankly, the more I learn about Quakerism, the more I love it (this is true for me of Sikhism as well, but that's neither here nor there) and I'm fortunate to have such a fantastic resource in Valerie. While I'm fully committed to my pagan path, I am aware that I've had Quaker leanings for years. I'm utterly fascinated by this Quaker Paganism development and I can't wait to do more research on it!

How does this tie into my upcoming discussion with HR? If they decide I need to be a member of some known faith with specific tenets about veiling, I'll have no qualms about claiming Quaker Pagan as it fits my purpose, and I can provide a letter to that end.

But, research! I get to do more research! And I am amazingly elated about what I may find. Something somewhere feels *right* and I need to know more. I'm almost shaking with the excitement of new knowledge and discovery!

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Happy New Year!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
WELCOME TO THE YEAR OF THE SNAKE!




Wednesday, February 06, 2013

What Do You Say?


I've worn a head covering to work every day for three months. None of the higher ups have challenged it (and I'm prepared to fight if they do). People have started to notice, though. And noticing means curiosity, and curiosity means questions. There's nothing wrong with questions per se, but what I thought would sufficiently answer just keeps going.

Coworker, "Time to get coffee, huh?"
Me, "Yep, it's either that or a nap!"
Coworker, "Why do you wear that thing on your head?"
Me, "It's part of my religious observance."
Coworker, "Oh, what is that?"

And here's where I falter. Not in suddenly needing to describe my faith, but in that it's not something that can be summed up in the 30-60 seconds of water-cooler office interactions- especially to someone who has absolutely no familiarity with a non-mainstream religion. I could say eclectic pagan. "What is that?" I could say Hermetic Wiccan. "What is that?" I actually had to specifically tell someone who just kept tacking on the whats, "if you've never heard of it, it's not something I can explain in a few minutes."

Now, I was entirely expecting to have to field questions about my head covering, but I honestly thought 'part of my religious observance' would be enough. After all, my faith and anyone's faith is completely irrelevant to my job. If I were being asked in a job interview, 'religious observance' would legally be sufficient and I would say so under the scrutiny of further whats and whys. I'm not ashamed of my faith and I'm not afraid to talk about it when there is ample time to devote to the subject, but that's not the point. Here, where we all have a job to do and are expected to be at our desks doing it, there is not ample time.

So under more whats and whys, I start stammering out things that make me sound utterly uncertain of what I'm saying, just in an attempt to give some kind of answer that would make sense and be enough of an answer to be accepted without further inquiry. That's never worked. There are always more questions.

Me: "I'm pagan."
Coworker: "Oh, pagans cover their hair?"
Me: "um, no, they don't have to, um, I do, because it's in line with my beliefs, um, because my matron goddess asked me to." blubber blubber blubber.
Actually, once I got an awesome response to this, "Oh, so it's like a sign of devotion." Yes! Like that!

But the "I'm pagan" follow up can go several ways.
Coworker: "What is that?"
Me: "well, uh, mine is a combination of Wiccan and Hermeticism that --"
Coworker: "What's Hermeticism?"
Me: "Um, it's a - a faith practice based on ancient Greek philosophy -- "
Coworker: "Oh, and they cover their hair?"
Me: "Well, not as a rule, no, my beliefs are based on that."
Coworker: "So, why do you cover your hair?"
Start over.

Or
Coworker: "What kind of pagan?"
Me: "I practice a combination of things that resonate with my beliefs."
Coworker: "So, it's made up?"
*headdesk*

Or
Coworker: "I have a friend who's into that stuff."
Ok, I'm throwing this one in here simply because I hear it often. It really has no relevance to my head covering, but it is likely to launch me into a very defensive tirade about how very offensive it is to dismiss my religion as something I'm "in to." You can be "in to" skiing. You can be "in to" gardening. You can be "in to" woodworking but stop doing that and suddenly be "in to" knitting. "In to" is a hobby, it connotes an impermanence and a recreational importance. This is not religion, and if you view your religion that way, you're doing something wrong. But I digress.

Where was I? Oh, let's go back to "what kind of pagan"
Me: {more stammering, because this answer is not accurate. Not incorrect, just not the full picture} "My faith focuses on hearth goddesses, like Hestia."
Coworker: "Oh, what does that mean?"
This one prompted the 'I can't describe it in the time allowed' response.

I think all this means I need to compose an answer, something more thorough than "religious observance" but still offers enough information to curb further questions, or to at least be able to describe enough so that 'I can't describe any more' is acceptable.

So, if I extend my original answer to "It's part of my religious observance, it's an act of devotion to my path and my deity." There's plenty of room for "what is that" questions if I have the time, and still a sufficient enough answer that "I have to get back to work, there really isn't time to go into further details here" should be satisfactory. Right?

Thursday, December 20, 2012

December 21 and the Mayan Long Count Calendar


(But first, a note. I was going to pepper this post with lovely images of Mayan ruins that I took on my trip to Mexico a couple years ago, but I can't find the digital versions of said images anywhere! I have a mere seven that I printed out that I will scan and post when I get home this evening. Until then, I'll tell you where the image will go and what it will be and you can use your imagination! Yeah. I know. Onward!)


It's not the end of the world.

Really, it's not.

The thing that people say is the Mayan prediction of the end of the world is a calendar. It's a very long calendar (a very. long. calendar), but it's still a calendar. What do you do when you get to the end of a calendar? You probably get a new calendar, right? That's all that's going on here. That's not even what's going on here. There is still more to the calendar. I'll get to that.

The Long Count Calendar is pretty cool. It's based on earlier systems of counting days and allowed the Mayans to ascribe a unique identifier to every day. Their first system was only good for 52 years before identifiers started repeating. It's exactly like the Gregorian calendar we use today, the system is only good for 12 months, and then those identifiers would start repeating. The Mayans had two early calendars, a 365 day solar calendar, called Haab' (not unlike the Gregorian calendar we use), and a 260 day calendar based on 13, which was a number sacred to the Mayans, called Tzolk'in.

{Insert picture of El Caracol, the observatory in Chichen Itza}

The starting date of the Long Count Calendar is the day that their mythology says people were created, which is 13 b'ak'tuns after the world was created. A b'ak'tun is 20 groups of 20 groups of 18 groups of 20 days, or something close to 394 years; 13 b'ak'tun is roughly 5122 years. Because people were created 13 b'ak'tuns after the creation of the world, the Mayans expect great things to happen after the next 13 b'ak'tuns. According to them, we are in the fourth world, so at the end of this cycle of 13 b'ak'tuns, we will be in the fifth world.

But wait, there's more, the Long Count Calendar doesn't actually end after 13 b'ak'tuns, it counts 20. So, after December 21 2012, we start a 14th b'ak'tun in the current Great Cycle (a Great Cycle is 20 b'ak'tuns, or 2880000 days which, not accounting for leap years, is something close to 7890 Gregorian years). We are in Great Cycle 0 (remember when we're talking calendars, the very first is always 0). There will be 6 more b'ak'tuns before we hit Great Cycle 1, somewhere around October 13, 4772.

{Insert picture of El Castillo, the main temple in Chichen Itza}

Now, what does that mean for us? Nothing, really. One b'ak'tun ends and another begins on December 21st. But if you want to feel neat, and it's ok to do so, everyone alive on December 20 will see the end of the 13th b'ak'tun, and everyone born on December 21st and after will be born in the 14th b'ak'tun. The 15th b'ak'tun won't happen until March 26, 2407! When you're shouting at those kids to get off your lawn, remember you weren't born in the same b'ak'tun!

Why did the Mayans need such a long calendar anyway? Beats me. The very first explanation I heard in one of my anthropology classes (where I admit I focused on Incas instead of Mayans for that class) is actually rather ridiculous. It was said that the Mayans just hated turning the calendar over, and they hated repeating days, so they created a very long calendar that would give each day a unique identifier for a very long time so they would not have to change it so much. Yeah, that's kind of silly. Another reason I heard was because they were fascinated with the stars, they were always observing, always looking, always calculating what would happen next. Things, like meteor showers and eclipses, that happened in the skies would not have surprised the Mayans like they did some other early peoples. They tracked comets, calculated eclipses, and built amazing works of architecture based on how it would look when the sun hit it on a certain day. If you are going to take the time to work out all of that, you might as well write it down, right?

The architecture is pretty interesting. That main temple in Chichen Itza is pretty fascinating. The structure we can see dates around the 9th century. The feathered serpent on the north staircase was carved in such a way that the sun hitting the temple on the equinoxes casts a series of shadows that make it look like the serpent is crawling down the stairs. I wasn't there for an equinox, so I did not witness this, but the temple itself was quite impressive. It is believed that the observatory, an far earlier structure, was used in part to design El Castillo so that it would be properly oriented to the equinoxes. Additionally, El Castillo was actually built over a smaller pyramid that was not discovered until the 1930's, but I digress. The 91 steps on each of the four sides of the pyramid, together with the temple platform at the top, equals 365 steps, the number of days in the Haab', that solar calendar that I mentioned earlier.

{Insert image of a Cenote, the Blessed Well, because it's pretty and I swam in it!}

Now, that observatory, El Caracol, is really awesome. I was more fascinated by that than El Castillo (everyone knows El Castillo anyway). Anthropologists believe that there were twenty-nine astronomical events that the Mayans were interested in studying (to include the solstices and equinoxes, movements of planets, eclipses, and the like). The dome of the observatory included sight lines, openings cut into the dome at specific places for the purpose of observing a specific astronomical event, for twenty of them. Some of the tower is missing, though, so it is possible the other nine were there. This means there is an opening for observing where the sun rises on a solstice day, where Venus appeared on the horizon at the start of its cycle, the position of the sun in the afternoon on an equinox day. It is fascinating.

Anyway, my point is the Mayans weren't predicting the end of the world. They just wrote a very long calendar. But, this end of 13 b'ak'tuns might be worth considering. The Mayans believed something big would happen, something that would end the fourth age and start the fifth age. Priests reported it would be something large and drastic, mystics said it could be subtle, like a simple shift. Remember, the calendar doesn't end for another 2760 years. It could be compared to changing from August to September on our calendar, there are still three more months to go before you need a new calendar.

Will something big happen that causes the end of the fourth age? Probably not. Will something subtle happen? I doubt that too. For all the ages Mayan mythology says we are in, this is still only the second time in Mayan history that 13 b'ak'tuns have passed. Who knows what will happen. I say we should all throw one awesome new b'ak'tun party!

Party like it's 12.19.19.17.19!


Monday, December 10, 2012

What and How and Where and When


I'm splitting this topic up a bit, and I apologize in advance if the next few posts seem disjointed or repetitive. I think they may.

I thought I would go into the specific styles that I've previously mentioned, but that will have to wait until next time. Instead, I want to talk about the veil: what it covers and what it doesn't, some styles available for borrowing, and where and when I choose to veil. Remember there are no rules in modern paganism practices to dictate these things, so where you go from here, how you incorporate veiling into your path, is completely up to you.

What gets covered?

The short answer is: it depends. Some Amish and Mennonite communities allow hair to be pinned up a certain way with a sheer prayer cap on top. Essentially nothing is covered from view, but the hair is not displayed either. Some other communities encourage full bonnets that cover all hair from view. Jewish tichels cover all hair. Muslim hijabs cover hair and neck and, depending on the style, some cover the face also. My Plain Quaker friend Valerie had this lovely thing to say about how she observed other Plain Quakers' dress, "We don’t have a Quaker Hat Store, so women solve that problem by selecting a kerchief, a veil, a prayer cap used in other Plain communities, or make their own, or use a scarf, or adapt until they are comfortable.  I’ve seen braids hanging down behind the prayer cap, hair all the way up (like mine), a tiny veil the size of a spread hand pinned on top of loose curls, and everything in-between."

There are no rules in paganism about hair covering, so my guidelines are completely my own - and that which I sense I am called to do. Really, my point is not to cover my hair (though some days I may), but to cover my crown chakra. Valerie's observations made a great and valid point to me. Even in a community where plain dress might be prevalent, they had no rules. "Adapt until they are comfortable."

As a pagan feeling the need to cover my head, this completely applies. My main drive is to cover my crown chakra, but what to do with my hair? I could leave it loose, so it shows under my veil, or tie it all up in a bun, or leave a braid hanging down. I have bangs that I could keep out or brush back under my veil. I could cover with very opaque fabric or very sheer fabric. There are no rules and no guidelines. This part is completely up to me. And with no guidelines of my own, I take a lot from the other cultures that do have a veiling practice, while trying to keep appropriation in mind.

Let me talk about that for a moment. I've touched on it before, in that people often get mistaken for being a member of a group of which they actually are not. That may not be a bad thing, but it might mean they have to deal with prejudice born of ignorance that they otherwise would not experience. As an anthropologist, I try to be very mindful of how I present myself, trying not to allow myself to be mistaken for following a practice I don't actually follow. I'd be lying if I said I was not trying to avoid any unpleasant reactions from a random stranger on the street, but my main reason is respect. Veiling traditions in most cultures that have them come from something special or sacred, like a religious text, or guidelines set forth by religious and/or community leaders. It is those traditions, those faith practices no matter how they began, that I must respect. Do I know if any of those groups would consider it an insult if a non-follower adopted their practices for entirely different reasons? Of course not, though some people I spoke to at the start of my research did express not being bothered by it. That being said, in many ways paganism is late to the veiling party, and a pagan choosing to veil has little choice than to borrow the styles and practices that have already been adopted by other traditions. It's an amusing and perhaps fitting turn, as other traditions have been borrowing pagan traditions for centuries (consider the "Christmas" tree, that has absolutely nothing to do with the birth of Christ. And there are so many other examples). This is the way the world works, cultures are constantly borrowing from other cultures- borrowing from traditions, languages, styles -  and I don't see this as a bad thing at all. It promotes cultural evolution. [I will say that it becomes a bad thing when the borrowing culture suddenly claims exclusive ownership of the borrowed tradition (consider the "Christmas" tree again) but that's a completely different discussion for another time.]

At the end of this blog, the author posed this lovely question, "for those who say it’s cultural appropriation… whose culture? If most cultures covered their heads at some point, then who is offended, exactly?" A valid question. Even some ancient pagan traditions involved head covering. The neo-pagan movement seems to lack it on a large scale, but it is an old practice that we can draw upon.

Now that we've been through that, what gets covered? Whatever it is that you need to cover in your personal practice. If you're called to cover your head and all hair, do that. If you want to cover your neck too, do that. If it's just the crown chakra and showing hair is okay, do that. If any given day it can be any of these things, do that too. It's completely up to you and your gods (assuming your gods care if you cover or not).

How do you wear that?

I don't mean 'how to tie a tichel' here, I'm talking options- what styles and traditions exist that could be applied to my practice. After the bunches of links (worth following and exploring), this blog post has several lovely photographs of different styles and touches on their associations with different practices (followed by a ton more links- though I honestly haven't gone hopping through any of them yet). I would love to post all the images here for you and talk about them, but they do not all mention a source and I'm not willing to start claiming images I find randomly on the web. But if you follow none of the links I post here, check that one out, if simply for the pictures.

Style means I still want to look good, I still want to look like myself, and I want to appear in a way that respects the culture from which I'm borrowing a style. In relation to this, here is a fantastic post from a blogger responding to a comment someone made about borrowing styles. She said she found as long as it is not something that is just fashion, that there is some meaning to it, people of the other cultures are mostly accepting. I'm inclined to agree with her, and in my research I have found this opinion to be true. Remember why we veil, whatever that reason may be, and use whatever style works for you.

In that regard, I'll probably never wear something in a hijab style. I feel no need to cover my neck except when it's cold, so that style doesn't resonate with me. Also a prayer cap doesn't really suit me. I love the tichel style. I love the look of it (not saying I don't love any other look; for example I think hijabs are quite beautiful- in fact, there's no style I've yet seen that I absolutely don't like aesthetically), I love how versatile it is, and how easy to tie while looking so complicated. I'm also a big fan of snoods, so I expect I'll be wearing those a lot when the weather is warmer. I wear small, triangular bandana type cloths or kerchiefs sometimes, usually when I'm doing chores around the house (I'll get to this). I'll probably never just loosely drape a square or rectangle of fabric over my head as is seen in many depictions of the Virgin Mary. It would work if I needed something temporary and had no reason to use my hands, but I'm more of a tie it on and leave it there kind of person. Most often, I leave my bangs out and have the rest of my hair tied up in some way.

I was and then I wasn't going to talk about the topic of this article. When I was first researching, I just glanced at this page and it looked like someone was using the Bible as a reference for why covering does not apply to Christians in this age. Further reading and really looking at the information being presented shows that it is just the opposite. That makes it apply to my previous topic of oppression: "The Bible says so!" Ok, maybe that is so (hear that, Christians, get your heads covered! I'm kidding.) but further down on this article one realizes that it's actually quite liberal. The part I want to draw your attention to is in what the author has called Myth number nine: "It is significant that God does not specify a style of head covering or give details about how the head should be covered. Should it be a hanging veil, or a hat or cap style? God doesn't specify. Should all the hair be covered? God doesn't specifically say. The emphasis is on a verb, covering the head, rather than on a noun, the head covering. This is significant. By not specifying a style, God gives freedom for a variety of styles and colors of head coverings to be used. God gives freedom for the headcovering to be creative and attractive. It does not have to be old-fashioned, a drudgery, or an embarrassment." Even in the Christian source for head covering, how the head gets covered is open, and communities that follow the practice interpret it in their own ways.

So how do you wear that? Whatever works. Whatever does what you need it to do. If you need a full hijab to cover everything you need to cover, go for it. If a small cloth pinned to your hair covers what you need to cover, go for that too. If one day a wide headband serves your purpose and the next day a bunned tichel does, that's okay.

Where and when do you veil?

You're heading out to buy some groceries: you put on a shirt and some pants, grab a coat, and throw a scarf on your head. You're getting ready for work: you pull on your slacks, suit, or skirt, button up a shirt, and tie a tichel over your head. You're getting ready to do some house cleaning: you put on some grunge clothes, maybe an apron, and tie your hair back with a bandana  You're on your way to visit family: you might just throw a hat on for the journey but take it off for your visit, or pick a shear scarf or bandana  You're sitting at home reading a book: you might pick some lounge wear and leave your hair down. You're crawling into bed, you might don a night cap or just braid long hair so it doesn't strangle you in the night. Some practices encourage veiling at all times, some only when outside the home or not in the company of family, some are required only during active religious observance and ritual.

I've mentioned that one of the places I feel I really need to cover my head is at work. If my main reason for veiling is to protect my sensitive crown chakra from random office energies, that makes perfect sense. Along that same vein, I'm exposed to similar energies when I'm out in the world, so I need to cover then as well. When I am tending to my home, that's a direct communion with hearth goddesses that I have been drawn to of late, so I veil while doing chores around the house as a symbol of devotion (not exactly devotion to a deity specifically, but devotion to a path might be more accurate). Additionally, when I'm in ritual, I feel the need to utilize that same symbol of devotion. I know that some practices cover while sleeping, but I don't feel a need to do that. I do tend to braid my hair, but that's because it's long and I or a cat can easily get tangled up in it during the night. I thought I would be the kind of person who would not need to veil when I'm among family or very very close friends, but it hasn't worked out as I expected. I have different views than many of my family members and I find I need some covering when I'm around most of them for the same reasons I cover at the office. I tend to pick something more sheer and leave more hair exposed when I'm among family, but I have found that I need to cover with something.

I want to explore that last sentence a bit. I have discovered that the types of covering I choose does seem to relate to the situation. I wear no covering at all when I'm with my boyfriend. I don't need to be protected from his energy nor do I have any particular need to express devotion to my path (unless I'm currently doing some activity that relates to that, like washing dishes or making dinner. Even then, sometimes I do and sometimes I don't). Among family, I tend to pick small or sheer veils, or headbands, or hats. Things that usually cover just the crown chakra and not my hair, though sometimes I may do that as well. During hearth-tending activities, I also mostly use those small or sheer kerchiefs, often with my hair bunned or braided for practical reasons. Going out into the world or at work or among company that may be mixed with familiar and totally not familiar individuals, I tend to cover the most, picking opaque veils that tie up my hair as well as cover my crown chakra. In ritual, I have a hood I made for that specific purpose, and I wear it both when I'm practicing a ritual at home and with a group. At other times, not actively in ritual but with that group, the same guidelines apply as when I'm with family. I've noticed that I don't cover when exercising, whether I am alone at home or in my yoga class at the office. It started both because I want to be open and accepting of the energy around me during yoga and because wearing something on my head that will probably fall off after a few down dogs isn't very practical. There's also no real reason to cover when I'm alone at home (exercising or lounging), so I don't do it.

You're probably wondering, dear readers, what this means for you. Where do you veil? Wherever the thing that draws you to veil applies, whether your matron goddess says "all the time" or your compulsion leads you to only veil at work, or you are drawn to veil any time you are outside of your home. No rules means you practice it where you need it, for whatever reason you need to do it.


If you're feeling some kind of inclination to veil, I hope you can get some idea of why and how and when from my series. As pagans, we have so very little to go on, but it is gaining in popularity and I do hope that I've shown that it is not inappropriate for a pagan, or anyone, to choose to adopt the practice if they feel they need to. I hope also that my information might help some non-pagans who might have wondered if and how they could fit veiling into their own practice. If you are not drawn to veiling, I hope you learn a bit about your sisters and brothers of any faith practice who are.

But, I'm not done yet. Next time, I will try to define, describe, or otherwise illustrate the specific kinds of veils that I've talked about (like tichels and hijabs), as well as the specific veil styles that I choose. Likely after that, I'll point you to some great shops for buying a variety of veil styles, maybe share some videos I've found with instructions for tying. I'd also like to post some pictures and possibly videos of my own to help your journey. I understand that I've presented a lot of information in a boring text with links format, and some of you have been asking me to show you what I mean when I talk about certain things. I am happy to oblige and I will figure out how to make that happen, but it might take a bit of time.

Monday, November 12, 2012

But First

I will go back to my exploration of veils and head covers and other modest dress stuff. But first!

A coworker just asked me how long it takes me to get ready in the morning because I always look so clean and neat. Today, I'm wearing one of my woven cotton skirts in navy, with a light purple shirt. My socks are gray and purple stripes, my shoes are black. My tichel is navy with bangs exposed, and I have a purple crocheted headband accent. She said it looks simple, clean, and classy. I feel accomplished. 

I'm actually quite liking this outfit for today. Maybe it's because all the various shades of purple I have on are so close to the same shade, you can't really tell that they're not. And the skirt and tichel in navy are a nice compliment. Maybe it's because it is the simple not-quite plain look that I like without sacrificing my personal style, like color or funky stripy socks. Maybe it's because I just got an order of new tichels in and can wrap my hair in a style that I've always found very lovely. Maybe it's because I feel good today, I feel presentable and put together and comfortable, and maybe that is apparent in how others perceive me today. 

Whatever it is, it was nice to get that compliment. And the answer to her question: maybe ten minutes. There's nothing like waking up in the morning and knowing what you're going to wear. And being able to just throw it on, tie a few knots, and call it done. 

Thursday, November 01, 2012

I'm Covered Today


I was going to tack this on to the end of my research post for the day but, while this is related, I decided it really needed its own entry.

First, I hope everyone had a Blessed Samhain, I hope Hurricane Sandy was kind to my East Coast readers, and Happy New Year!

Samhain, the night that most people know as Halloween, is one of the most sacred in the pagan calendar. It's when the veil (there's that word again!) between the world of the living and that of the dead is most thin - allowing for easier communication across the veil during this time. It's a great time to honor loved ones who have passed on. It's also the third harvest, when farmers would determine how much feed they had for their herds and which animals were most likely to survive the winter. The rest were slaughtered and the meat preserved to provide food for the long, barren winter. It is considered to be the Pagan New Year, completing one full cycle of the year Samhain to Samhain. It is both the end and the beginning, and a great time to get rid of old things you no longer need to make room for new things in the coming year.

This week, the blessed and sacred time of Samhain was preceded by Hurricane Sandy. This was a huge storm, a convergence of three weather systems above a very densely populated region. Everyone from Virginia to New England and as far inland as Ohio were told to hunker down and prepare for the worst. There were things about my situation in riding out the hurricane that I wished were different but, in any event, I sat in my home with Phantom and Miss Luna listening to the storm get fiercer and fiercer outside. One of the first things I do when I move to a new home, even a temporary one, is cast a shield around it. It is tied to a protection charm that I make, and fill with herbs and stones and talismans that I feel are appropriate for protecting my home and those who dwell within. I have made such charms for friends before as well. I'm not going to go too much into this right now because that's not my purpose, but tying the shield to a charm means that it is always in place, protecting my home from the forces without.

Shields such as these need regular maintenance - cleansing and refortifying. I have to admit that I've been lax about this one. When I lived with my parents, I maintained that shield very regularly, I even still do when I visit; the charm is still hanging from the mantle. But the one on my own house, I don't think about it much. With a big storm approaching though, I thought about it a lot. I spent a lot of time on it as part of my storm preparation. No amount of preparing, be it physical or spiritual, will guarantee being protected from a physical threat, but it certainly doesn't hurt.

When I lost power, I had nothing to do but sit there listening to the rain pelting my roof, the wind whipping the trees around violently, the storm gathering in intensity. Every now and then, I would poke at the fire I started in the woodstove for warmth and light, but there was nothing else to do. Just me and my cats, and the person I most wanted with me for comfort was entirely out of reach. Even people who are not at the top of that list but would have still been a comfort to have them there were not able to be. Just me, my cats, and my shield against the full power of nature. I was worried about being without power for days like I was at the end of June, I was worried about the tall trees that border my property - a tree had fallen on my house before, long before I owned it. I was worried, and for all intents and purposes, alone. I did something I haven't done in years: I prayed.

Pray is not a word I use in my practice. It doesn't really fit in my path. Maybe it's a remnant of my Catholic upbringing  but prayer to me means talking to God, and I really don't talk to that god anymore. For some reason, when I say prayer, it means communication with that god and only that god. Additionally, I don't believe that the gods are above us, but that they walk with us. They're on a different plain and they see things differently, can manipulate the world differently, but I don't worship them. In that moment, in that storm, alone but with my beloved animals, I prayed. Before that fire, I prayed to Hestia to protect my hearth and home. In worry for the storm, fear for my home and my animals and myself, sadness at being so worried and without the people who mattered the most, I asked a goddess I've never really talked to before for help.

It's not like I hadn't been through a storm alone before. I rode out Hurricane Irene last year also with just myself and my cats and my shield, and that was after an uncharacteristic earthquake and several aftershocks and energies were already scattered and anxious. Maybe it was because Samhain was approaching and the veil was thinning and the energies around this time of year are always different. Maybe it was because I knew my boyfriend would have been with me if he could, and I have been lamenting the distance between us a lot of late. Whatever it was, I prayed to a goddess (which, in itself is unusual for me) for comfort and help. I've been drawn to Hestia in recent years, but I admit I haven't yet explored her mysteries or really considered what Hestia as my matron would mean for my path.

Was it a prayer to a goddess to whom I have not dedicated that helped my home come through the storm with minimal damage? I'll never know, that's why it's faith. I didn't see anyone that day after the storm, but on Halloween night, before heading out to ritual at Shadow Grove, when I was preparing for trick-or-treaters, I was frantically searching my house for something to put on my head. I actually have quite a few things that would serve this purpose, at that moment the only thing I knew was that I needed something on and I needed it before the first child came to my door. I ended up with a crocheted triangle over the top of my head and felt properly dressed. I then wore my regular crocheted hood to ritual as has been my custom for at least a year.

Today, I am covered. I have a long, sheer rectangle scarf wrapped around my head in a tichel crown style. I've packed a variety of things for my weekend visit with my family, including long scarves like the one I'm wearing today, some small triangles like the one I donned last night, a few tubes that are kind of like open snoods or like the wraps that people put around dreadlocks, even some tie-on headbands. More than I actually need for the weekend but they don't take up much space and there's nothing wrong with having options. My power suit and pumps wearing manager isn't here to challenge me today. I'm trying to prepare myself because I know that day will come. I will ask for a letter from my ministers if it comes to that.

I thought I would start covering as I've been pulled to do after some kind of ceremony or retreat. I'd take a couple days off of work so it wouldn't be too much of a shock (I essentially had a couple days off with this storm). I'd take that time to meditate and to prepare and have all my reasons firmly in place for when my boss challenged it. I don't know why I felt it had to be some big event in my spiritual life. But really, what is bigger than a major storm in the days before one of the most sacred days of the year?  It's something I've been needing to do for a while and it's something that I can't resist anymore. It was an epiphany. It's a new day, a new year, and I know it's time.

Perception and Controversy


One of the things about living in a society is that people want to conform to the standards of that society. Even people who claim to be non-conformists still conform in a lot of ways (bet they pay taxes, wear clothes, maybe even have jobs - all of that is conforming to what society expects of you). Conformity in fashion has its own special word, it's called a trend. And it's often the fashion industry that tells us what styles we are to conform to in any season, but that's another topic altogether.

Fashion in this society does include a variety of options, but they are still relatively limited. Just walk through a department store. This season, you'll find jeans, long sleeve t-shirts, denim, sweaters, and skirts that end above the knee are easier to find than ankle-length. The colors available are pretty much from the same palette. When you're looking for something to fit as modest dress, you're going to have trouble finding it on the rack at your local clothing store. For example, the heavy cotton skirts I wear to work during the colder months came from Greentree Weaving at the Renaissance festival.

What I'm getting at is there is an idea and an ideal of what people in this society think that people and the clothing they wear are supposed to look like. Anything that does not fit into this idea gets instant attention. It's not always a good thing, often you're believed to be an outsider, you're abnormal and you don't belong. I see this all the time when I'm wearing my Renaissance festival uniform and I have to get gas or run into a drug store for something. Most of them are positive reactions, but I do get the occasional "what the hell is she wearing" reaction too. Some of the reasons a group might advise or require covering is to protect the wearer from unwanted attention. Most modest dress is meant to be simple and unremarkable. In many societies, it is exactly the opposite. Especially if you are a member of a small group with such rules in a larger group that does not have them.

No one would think twice about someone wearing a beret (which could serve the purpose of a veil) but almost everyone notices a woman in a hijab and abaya, or even a woman in a sari (though a sari is more a garment of showing off a woman's beauty rather than obscuring it). The clothing that is meant to protect you only serves to show how different you are. This blog is a fantastic account of how people react to a hijab. It was just an experiment that she did; she wore a scarf in a hijab style for no other purpose than to see how people would react to her. Some people reacted by trying really hard to ignore her altogether. And when one little girl asked her mom if the people wearing scarves were terrorists, mom failed to say "no, honey, those women follow a religion that calls them to wear those scarves as a sign of devotion." Instead, she glared and walked away.

On this blog is an account of a pagan woman wearing a hijab style veil on her way to an appointment and another woman spat in her path. This story from the same blog (I really wish there were more than two stories on that blog, really) talks of another who witnessed two women in hijabs being harassed by a man and she stepped in to defend them. Being so obviously different, and in a way that a lot of people in this country don't take the time to understand, is met with prejudice and hostility.

This is a fantastic article about the double standards of veiling. A Catholic nun in her habit is seen as pious and devoted. Even a Mennonite in prayer cap and simple dress, who is wearing that kind of clothing for the same reason as a Muslim in hijab and abaya, does not encounter prejudice at the same level. (I am not going to say that these women in non-Islamic veils don't encounter prejudice - everyone does - but Islam gets more negative press than any of these others combined.) Really, oppression about veiling seems to come mostly from the prejudice of people who don't take the time to understand.

From a pagan standpoint, this blogger covered it, "pagan women suddenly found themselves exposed to prejudices aimed towards a religious group they themselves did not even belong to." And why is that? Perception. A person sees a woman in a veil and they make a judgement, and often they make that judgement based on misconceptions.

Additionally, many pagans feel like veiling is taking a step backwards in the feminist movement. That comes entirely from thinking that a woman wearing a veil is oppressed. This forum topic has a couple people commenting on the veil as a symbol of oppression. I would argue that it can't be oppression if it's my choice. One of the administrators of that forum said something wonderful that I would urge everyone to keep in mind, "We all do or wear things that make us feel more confident, and many of us wear things that make us feel more connected to our Gods (jewelry, tattoos, etc.) that others may not understand or would not choose for themselves." I love this statement. Maybe my scarves and veils serve the same purpose as the pentacle pendant that average Diana Pagan dangles from her neck. I wear pentacles too, as a matter of fact. A pair of small earrings  always in the middle of my three ear piercings, and I have worn them every day since I bought them over ten years ago, except on days when I don't wear earrings at all. I wear two rings that are pieces of religious jewelry; one has "Harm None" inscribed on it and the other is a ring of glass beads that a friend made for me in 1993 (that I have worn every day since except for seven days. And yes, I can tell you about those seven days and why I didn't put my ring on those days). The friend who gave me that ring got me started on this path all those years ago. No one forces me to wear these symbols of my faith. Additionally, no one tells me that they are or should be symbols of my faith. They have meaning because I give them that meaning.

I've mentioned a thread on the Noble Pagan forum, that requires membership to read. One of the staff there mentioned she was in a conversation with a pro-choice woman who was stating her opposition to Muslim women veiling and asked "what happened to 'my body, my choice'?" What a great question! If you believe your body is your own, why can't you wear what you want? To those who think these women are embracing a symbol of oppression and dominance need to realize that it actually supports the feminist movement - women are wearing what they want.

I did so much research on this topic that I seem to have lost one of the links I really wanted to point you towards. It was a comment on a forum (not either of the two I have linked/mentioned previously - that I can tell) of a pagan woman who was so vehemently against veiling that she actually had some rather nasty things to say about the people who choose it. It is, perhaps, best that I managed to lose that link as it was rather shocking coming from someone who, essentially in the same breath, said that being pagan was about being in control of one's own faith and practice and life. I was really taken aback that a stranger's clothing choice could conjure such a negatively fierce reaction from someone who should already know what it's like to be so judged for doing something different.

But that's part of it too. As pagans, we've already chosen to follow our hearts and practice a faith that many do not understand and do not bother to look beyond the stereotypes and learn what we're really about. I've been told that my exposure to the pagan world at large has really been rather limited and that the elitist attitude that one pagan's ways or path is better than another's is actually quite common. I did know this, while I've only experienced a small fraction of it directly. Remember when I stated above that everyone encounters prejudice? Sometimes it comes from within, too.  

We're getting to the end of my research on this topic, though I'm sure that doesn't mean I'll stop talking about it. Next time, we'll look at types of veils and ways they are worn, what shows under the veil, a little bit about pagans 'borrowing' styles, and I'll share some shops I've found for buying veils and other modest dress.