Monday, March 16, 2015

Why Do I Have a Problem with Pink

For most people, having a baby girl means pink.  I only have a vague tolerance of pink at this point in my life. It's getting better, really, but it's a process. A lot of the people I know who are currently expecting have a hate relationship with pink and they don't want it anywhere near their baby girls. Purple is my favorite color, which goes well with greens and blues, so I'm trying to lean towards that rather than the pink everyone is going to throw at me and our daughter in the coming months and years. I remember getting a shiny new purple and white bicycle in my youth and I was so proud of it. I loved the way the purple tires left little purple skid marks on the sidewalk. I remember riding around, showing off my wonderful new bike to the neighbors and one of them said "I'm surprised it's not pink." I remember feeling so insulted that she knew me - her daughter's best friend - so little. She should have known how much I hated pink. I spat "I HATE PINK" back at her and rode off in a huff. 

The nursery is bright green. In fact, we're not really doing a nursery at all- that's just the color the room is. It's not going to be painted over unless Poppyseed decides one day that she wants it. She's not going to care about the color of the walls for some time anyway. My best friend offered to make it more girly for us, and I told her we don't want to force anything on our daughter; we don't need the room more girly. We don't even know yet how girly or not our daughter will be, but we know we don't want to force an identity on her. This is very important to me. She decided to go with a more forest theme instead of a focus on pink flowers and butterflies (I have nothing against pink flowers and butterflies, and they will probably still be a part of the nursery. I really don't know what's happening in that room that I've given Turtle leave to decorate, but if we hate it, we can always take it down). The going-home dress that I wore, which my daughter will also wear because I think it's too awesome that I still have it, is pink. My sister in law, who is very excited that we're having a girl, is buying some pink things and probably some girly things - but we're also getting her son's super hero hand-me-downs. I supported a Kickstarter for Princess Awesome, so our daughter can have fun play dresses with dinosaurs and pirates and atoms on them. 

A friend of mine posted this article this morning, and I think it behooves me to take it to heart.  I think our daughter can wear pink ruffles and climb trees if she wants to. She can dig for worms in a tiara if she likes. I will put her in Captain America Onesies and Batman t-shirts and a snap suit with dinosaurs, and maybe one day she'll ask me for a pink super hero cape. Or maybe she'll put on my high heels and play with my make-up and want baby dolls instead of Star Wars action figures. I would love it if she plays with my old Barbie dolls and My Little Ponies as much as I would love it if she asks for a bucket of green army dudes. I think part of not forcing an identity on her includes not denying one either. It's a fine line to walk, but why can't she have it all?

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