Elusivity

A sleep-deprived brain can create words that don't exist with ease. Somehow, one thinks this word should exist, and wonders why it does not. Funny thing is, it must exist, because it's in use in many places, but it's not entered in the dictionary, or the Unword Dictionary. Does that seem right to you?

Elusivity: noun the quality or state of being elusive

And, we all hate when a word is defined with a form of itself, so we go to Merriam-Webster Online to see what elusive means. Which is "tending to elude." Bother. One degree of definition is about all I have in me.

In any event, I'm talking about the elusivity of sleep. The tendency of that thing that living creatures need so much to evade us in times of trial or worry.

I haven't been sleeping the past couple nights. I've really been cat-napping. Because, you see, if Miss Luna experiences some distress in the night, I need to be awake for it. So, I've spent the last couple nights dozing while she beats her ear. This should, naturally, tell me that all is well(ish) so I don't have to spend my nights not really sleeping. She did wake up in the wee hours of yesterday morning and let out a weird howl, but I think she was just having a bad dream.

It remains to be seen if I'll get any sleep tonight. I do fully plan to go home and take a nap. We'll see how this works out.

A Plea

Miss Luna's weekend visit at the hospital has put me under the weight of more veterinary bills than I have ever had before. And it's not over. I still have at least two follow-ups of more tests, and that number could increase depending on how test results come back over the course of the next week.

These are troubled times for all of us. If it came down to buying food for me or buying food for my cat, my cat would eat where I would not. She relies on me, and I have an obligation to take care of her. Not to mention a deep and unfaltering desire to do so.

As a result of this, my dreams of moving out of this rented condo into a purchased house by the time our lease is up in May are gone. My boyfriend and I were planning a trip to Miami in the spring which I had to cancel. Adding to my savings account for the house fund has come to a screeching halt. But, all of that doesn't matter compared to the life of my cat.

Now and for the foreseeable future, all purchases in my Etsy shop will go towards paying for Miss Luna's hospital care. We would be so grateful if you could please find it in your heart to help a cat by buying a Gnome. Thank you.

Holiday Gnomes are still available and are $10 off! Now is the perfect time to get them! When the current listings expire, they won't be back until next season!

She's Home

So, here's what happened.

I mentioned that she had been acting strangely since I got home from the weekend. It looked like she was getting back to herself, though still not completely.

Yesterday morning, I slept through my 0530 alarm and didn't wake up until 1000 or so. Miss Luna did not try to wake me up. When I finally did get food to her bowl, she ate about half of it.

I went about my day and came home around 1900 or so. She still had about a quarter of food in her bowl - from the morning. She favored her right hind leg when she stood, like she didn't want to put weight on it. I carried her into the living room so she could be near me while I worked on something. She rolled on to her right side and put her shaking left paw over her face like the light was hurting her. Then she stood up, arched her back like she was stretching and jumped off the chair. She didn't land on her feet, though, she fell. And when she collected herself, she walked with her back arched and her back feet turned inward. She stepped gingerly and wobbled like she was drunk.

That was enough for me, that's when I found the emergency number and called them.

To make a long story short: we still don't really know what's going on. She had a fever and started an antibiotic. They found that she has an enlarged heart, so I need to follow-up with a cardiologist in the next couple weeks. The enlarged heart makes IV fluids complicated. They found she has non-regenerative anemia, had to change her antibiotic because of it. They drew some blood to test for immunodeficiency, which was ruled out, and will test for the presence of a few plausible bacteria and parasites. She had bacteria in a sterile urine sample, and they will test for possible UTI.

Basically, it looks like there are several things going on independent of each other (i.e. cardiovascular disease usually doesn't come with fever). I need to follow up with the regular vet by the end of the week (or sooner if she doesn't seem to be improving). She ate a meal when we got home around 1800, she really hates the liquid antibiotic, and she seems to be very thirsty. She's a little jumpy and her back is sensitive to touch, but she's here with me and she followed me into the kitchen when I got some food, and she's been licking the place on her arm where the catheter was.

I'm so glad she's home. And I'm glad she's on the bed, not hiding from me. And I'm glad she ate something, and I'm glad she cried all the way home (she barely let out a peep on the way there yesterday). Mostly, I'm just glad she's here. Last night was a very hard night without her.

Miss Luna is Sick

I had to take Miss Luna to the emergency hospital tonight. She had a fever and was walking very funny. Initial x-rays found she has an enlarged heart and low blood pressure (which may account for walking funny, but not fever). They will keep her at least overnight and run some more tests.

So I left her there.

Critical Thinking

"Thinking about your thinking while you're thinking in order to make your thinking better."

Quoted from one of Phoenix's nursing school books. Seriously.

Critical thinking apparently does not involve thinking about what you're saying before you say it so as to not appear a redundant idiot. Isn't there some rule about not using a word to define itself?

Kitties Kitties

Miss Luna is starting to be more like herself. I think she was just pissed off because I had spent so much time away from her. On Tuesday, the other cats in the house all got flea baths. Miss Luna didn't get a bath because she has Frontline. She was definitely rubbing it in to the other cats that she was not subjected to the bath tub torture.

I'm glad my kitty was just angry with me and not sick. Sick kitties are dreadful things.

Meaning

I learned today that my brother's sister-in-law died suddenly on Christmas Day. And I learned this by reading my sister-in-law's blog. It disturbs me that my brother and sister-in-law didn't let us know when something important happened. She seemed a little confused when I called her this afternoon, but it felt like it was more because of the fact that I was calling her than anything. Kind of like she wanted to ask why I cared.

I'm confused myself. I know we'd never hear from my brother if my mother didn't call him every now and then, but it still really shocked me that I get information about his family from a blog.

I understand that sometimes people need to deal with things on their own. But, my brother's wife's family is our family too. I don't understand why they didn't think we would care to know.

What bothers me the most is probably that this...confirms how removed from my brother I feel. I know he has his wife and his home and his life, but he is my only brother, and his life is important to me.

What does it mean?

And What About Apple

The recent buzz I hear is that Apple is planning to launch something that will be a serious competitor to Amazon's Kindle. Those of you who have been following me for a while will know that I've been planning on getting a Kindle for some time now. My goal of saving up the dough to do so is at hand.

But, the rumors say that Apple's device will "kill" the Kindle. Ok, that's all well and good. But what I want in an ebook reader is variety in content, super affordable content, ease of getting that content, and then, of course, the details of the device in ease of use, comfort, portability, all that jazz. Kindle has it. Apple, what say you?

Now, bear in mind, it took me many many years to own an iPod and I only have a Shuffle. I went with a Dell mp3 player because, at the time, it offered 5 times the GB for the same cost as the early iPods. No brainer! I still have and use that mp3 player from Dell, far more frequently than my iPod Shuffle (PS I have never made a purchase through iTunes).

I do not own any kind of Apple computer and I have no desire to own an iPhone that has far more bells and whistles than I would ever use on a cell phone. I've heard that Apple's Kindle competitor will actually be a tablet computer (still, all rumors), not just an ebook reader. Sure, many people like things that can do many different things, just ask Alton Brown, but I don't need another computer (we're not even going to talk about that brief period in November where I nearly bought yet another laptop). What is the point of buying a multi-function device if you only need it for one thing anyway?

I've researched other ebook readers. The problem with the Nook is that it can't play audio files from audible.com (Apple's device likely will, this is one of the reasons why I want a device like this in the first place). The problem with the Cool*er is that the books are crazy expensive compared to Amazon's prices. None of the other readers on the market have Amazon's text-to-speech feature, which goes along with why I want something to play my audio books.

It almost sounds like I'm talking myself out of waiting to see what Apple is doing, doesn't it? But, there's another side to that. If I wait for Apple to launch whatever Apple is launching, is there a possibility that the Kindle will come down in price as a response to it? What will Apple's price be anyway? Will it even compare?

I need to know! But, I want my gadget now!

Avatar

I saw this film last Saturday in 3D. It wasn't a made-for-3D film in the sense that many parts are deliberately filmed for the 3D effect (like parts of the recent Journey to the Center of the Earth, which was very clearly made with 3D in mind so things would appear to come at you throughout the film), but more to give depth and realism to this world. And this kind of 3D is not the motion-sick-inducing kind, which helped a lot.

Let me start with something simple: music. At one point, I remember noting it was good, but I can't even think of it now. It didn't detract from the film, but it really took a back seat to what was going on visually.

I remember reading a random forum post where someone said the film looked good but it had no plot. I'd have to ask what film he was watching. Before I get into that, let's talk a little etymology. The word avatar is from Sanskrit. It was originally used in Hinduism to describe a vessel - usually a body of some sort - in which a deity incarnates. The most common use of this word (in my experience) is in video games, specifically rpgs, where the character that you create and control in the game world is your avatar. My first thought was that he-who-thinks-there-was-no-plot must not be a gamer.

The namesake of the film was a genetically engineered body that resembled a native and dominating species of the life-supporting moon that is the setting for the film. Human characters interfaced with their personal avatars through a claustrophobic MRI type of device. One of the main themes was the conflict of the main character, a disabled Marine, who already felt alienated among humans and finds himself torn between following orders and a growing love for the moon and all the living things he came to know through his avatar.

The other part of the story, the main plot, if you will, is reminiscent of European colonization of the Americas (among other similar incidents) where humans want what the natives have and will take it if they don't give it up. My parents and I read a review in the Washington Post where someone compared the film to a completely different period in human history. In my opinion, this guy failed to draw the most logical parallels and was entirely incorrect in his assessment of it. But, that's really beside the point.

In line outside the theater, I was talking to a lady who mentioned that she was a little worried about bringing her two little girls into a PG-13 film. She read that what made it PG-13 wasn't that bad in the grand scheme of things and hoped they'd be too distracted by everything else to really notice. I don't know how that worked out for her or her little ones, but I can say the film was a visual feast. The lush setting was filled with bioluminescent plants, great beasts of land and sky, and if you've seen the commercials, you've already seen the floating mountains. Really, I can't say enough about what this film was in terms of appearance. Perhaps the highest praise I can convey is that I want them to make an RPG out of this world, so I can go in and explore it on my own. (That being said, what I have read about the video game version leaves much to be desired, but that's something else altogether.)

If you haven't yet, go see this film. Even if the story seems uninteresting, even if the actors are not your favorites, even if 3D makes you sick as it does me, go see this film. It is worth it to experience that fabulous world even if nothing else is appealing to you. And don't forget to blink.

In 2010

Here it is, another year. Another decade. Oh, it's been this way for four days? Where have I been?!

On New Year's Eve, Fox and Fae joined my parents and me for mondo movie night. We managed to only get two movies in, but one of them was pretty long. It was really about hanging out with people who matter in our lives, and that we did. This was the second time we've done a New Year's Eve like that. I really enjoy it.

New Year's Day was dinner at my grandmother's with the folks and both of mom's siblings and their better halves. And then we managed an after-dinner movie. All during the day, Guild Wars was having their winter game festival thing. I was able to log in and let the thing run and get lots of useful game items.

On Saturday, my parents and I did the only thing we could do: went out into the world to see Avatar. This film deserves its own post, so movie review later!

Sunday was monthly brunch, which somehow mom managed to tell Fox we would not be attending. I don't know why she figured that, I had been including it with my weekend plans all along. After a bit of grocery shopping, my aunt and uncle who are visiting from Utah came by to play with Buffy, check out the new non-carpeted living room, and experience some Wii. I ended up getting home quite a bit later than I wanted to last night, but I got to hang with family I don't get to see very often, so it's all good.

Miss Luna was acting strangely last night and this morning. She usually begs for food in the evening and inhales what I put down. She wasn't begging, and when I put food in her bowl, she sat in the hallway and then came in and ate half of it. She ate the other half quite a bit later. She slept very close to me all night, and did not wake me up early begging for breakfast like she normally does. She wasn't even begging while I was making my bed and getting ready. When I did feed her, she ate it all, but then went back to sleep on my bed, where she normally runs into the hall to find a kitten to play with. The roomies said she was perfectly normal all weekend. I hope it's just that she's mad at me for going away for two long weekends in a row and not a sign that she's sick. I'm not going away for a night or longer again until the end of the month. Maybe that's all she needs. I really wish I could have stayed home with her this morning.

So, here it is, another year and another decade. And this year brought with it frigid air and gusty winds from Canada. And I hear there's a possibility of more snow, similar to the double feet of a few weeks ago, in our future. I can take the snow, and I can bundle up in the cold, but that wind is harsh! And, the heat appears to be broken in the office too. I think it's time for more coffee.

I hope everyone had a fabulous year changeover!