Wednesday, January 06, 2010


I learned today that my brother's sister-in-law died suddenly on Christmas Day. And I learned this by reading my sister-in-law's blog. It disturbs me that my brother and sister-in-law didn't let us know when something important happened. She seemed a little confused when I called her this afternoon, but it felt like it was more because of the fact that I was calling her than anything. Kind of like she wanted to ask why I cared.

I'm confused myself. I know we'd never hear from my brother if my mother didn't call him every now and then, but it still really shocked me that I get information about his family from a blog.

I understand that sometimes people need to deal with things on their own. But, my brother's wife's family is our family too. I don't understand why they didn't think we would care to know.

What bothers me the most is probably that this...confirms how removed from my brother I feel. I know he has his wife and his home and his life, but he is my only brother, and his life is important to me.

What does it mean?


Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry FyreCreek, I know how you feel. It feels sometimes like I'm the only one the family who values communication, I learned about my uncle being very sick(dying) from my sisters facebook status almost 2 days before my mother bothered to call. I think people get so wrapped up in their own lives that they fail to see that what's going on with them matter to other people. It's like you don't really know how much people care about you till something big happens in your life. I've had family I haven't talked to in years come out of the woodwork to congratulate me on my engagement. It's also like not knowing most of my extended family until they introduce themselves at another family members funeral.
I think people change, and some of the ways family changes can really hurt us. I'm sorry for the loss of one family member and the distance between you and your brothers family.

You're in my thoughts,

Fyrecreek said...

Thank you.

A little bit more than a year ago, a member of our church died very suddenly. We passed the word around to everyone in a matter of hours. It's not impossible to keep people informed!

I guess I should be happy she wrote anything at all, or I might have asked her about her cryptic away message when we visit in March. That would have been even more awkward than yesterday's phone conversation.