Gun Shy

The thing about antivirus programs is that I don't trust them. Both of the programs that I currently used have failed me in the past (the epic, hard-drive clearing, re-install the OS and lose everything you've ever saved kind of fail). I have important, irreplaceable things on all computers. I can't afford to have an antivirus program that fails to protect that.

The truth of the matter is that it's not the antivirus programs, but the viruses I managed to pick up. Most computer viruses attack the antivirus first. It makes sense. Wouldn't you take out the thing that guards against you first? And maybe, at the time, the programs didn't update frequently enough, and I didn't go searching for updates as often as I should have. Still, it made me lose faith in the ability of the antivirus programs to protect my files. Particularly since two leading brands had failed me.

I've had this copy of Norton on my desktop for a couple years. It has picked up some tracking cookies and one virus that I must have gotten from a video site (and I haven't gone back!). That virus did try to disable the program first, but I managed to save it and get rid of it. I am slowly building up trust in the antivirus program again. In light of this new threat, I finally installed that final copy of Norton to keep the beast laptop protected.

Really, the key is keeping the programs up to date. Since the makers are in the business of staying on top of the newest threats, I have no other option but to trust that they can take care of them and update the programs often.

Hopefully, I haven't already picked up this newest computer enemy. So far, it looks clean.

Not Better Than Yesterday

Yes, I spent the evening with my game. But I did get a good thirty minutes on the elliptical first. And I stopped for dinner and to put the new crickets away. But, yeah. Game. Must game!

Now, must sleep!

A Little Time

I spent the morning shopping with my mother before heading home. Then I put stuff away and spent some quality hours with my new video game and took a little nap.

I really can't call it new, as it's a remake of a game that's been released and re-released several times, this time with all new CGI cutscenes! I'm a cutscene junkie, I think.

Now, I really need to get to bed!

Home Again

Mom decided not to look at dogs today. Instead, we went shopping. I bought a lot of things for my kayaking trip this summer (shoes, travel/camping supplies, things like that) and a new bonsai. I've been missing having one, so I'm going to try to raise a different kind of tree.

After shopping, we picked up dad and went to the movies. We saw Rush to Witch Mountain, which wasn't a bad film and was (of course) done much better than the originals from the 70's. Other than the alien children with neat powers and that they had to go to Witch Mountain, it wasn't related to the first film or its sequel either. But, it was entertaining, and that's the whole point.

Now, it's time for some good quality TV. I missed The Mentalist this week because Comcast is stupid, but thankfully, my mother recorded it. Yay, VCR!

Oh Yeah

I didn't have anything to write today. And then I remembered I was going to talk about my weekend. Plans have changed, but I'm still going home.

My mother wants a dog (I just typed "my mother wants a god"). Really, dog. Yorkie, to be precise. She wanted me to come with her tomorrow to help her pick one, because I used to work at an animal hospital and may notice things she'd miss. Now, she's not sure about the dog, so we'll see how tomorrow goes.

She also told me that two people were murdered in the neighborhood yesterday and a third is in critical condition. While my parents and I didn't know them, it's still shocking. The report called it a home invasion robbery, and the police think it was not random. I guess that's a small comfort.

I never really worried about my safety in that neighborhood. Sure, all places get the occasional group of delinquents, but it was never dangerous. We used to play outside at night. People are hardly ever walking around in the dark (of course, yesterday's horrible incident happened in the afternoon, so what does that mean?).

I'm still trying to understand all of this, even as I remind myself that it's not really something that a normal, sane person can understand. I don't think it can be understood at all. Still, that doesn't stop me from wanting to understand, and at the same time, not wanting to. That kind of thing doesn't happen there. It just doesn't.

And then it does. And then what do you do?

Say Something

I'm going out tonight. I have nothing else to talk about today.

Direction

"Would you tell me please, which way I ought to go from here?"

"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat.

"I don't much care where-" said Alice.

"Then it doesn't much matter which way you go," said the Cat.

- from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

What the -

If you're going to do my work and not tell me about it, don't be condescending when I go to do it, find you've done it, and have to correct the mistakes you made. If you had just said you did it, per established procedures, I wouldn't have looked at it at all, and those mistakes would have stayed there and you could go on feeling like you did a good job and I wouldn't have bothered.

Don't get mad at me when you don't do something right and I find out about it because you didn't do something else right. Sheesh.

Not in the Groove

I've got lots of things to crochet and I'd much rather be home working on them. That's just the way it is some days.

Ostara, the Fulfillment

I hope this new spring season is treating everyone well.

This was my first Ostara celebrated with my friends and family of Shadow Grove. The plan for the day involved egg hunts for the children, and painting wooden eggs, little bird houses, and flower pots. All around, the Grove was showing signs of the new life of spring, and we were surrounding ourselves with its symbols.

The ritual in the early evening did not involve a bonfire as it often did. This time, we were led in a meditation and when we opened our eyes, we were each holding a brightly colored egg. Mine was orange, and I first thought that was not a relevant color to me, but soon came to realize it was perfect. At Imbolc, we each had charged a seed and were told to bring it back with us. During the ritual, while we held on to our eggs for a later purpose, we planted our seed in little peat cups with a little flag marking our names. These seeds will be cultivated and germinated and will later be planted in the Grove garden as a sign of our community, our family. Those who wanted one received a gift of a blooming Narcissus, that many of us planted in the pots we had painted.

The eggs we were given had a special purpose. After the ritual, we trudged back up the steep hill. We were told to draw upon the egg, dividing it into quadrants lengthwise. On either end, we put our name and a symbol that represented our faith (this was a pentacle in my case). We then thought of four things that we wanted, needed, or hoped for and wrote or drew symbols to represent them in each of the quadrants. The task from there was to roll the egg down a hill. When it stops, the quadrant facing up contained what we needed to focus on. Mine was happiness, which I represented by a glowing sun. This is also a feeling I get from the color of my egg, and in line with my wish last Esbat. I then opened up my egg and threw it into the woods so the critters of the Grove could have something to munch on.

After all of that was the feasting and gaiety I've come to expect with this wonderful group of people. Many of us were noting that this was the largest amount of people for a Sabbat that we've yet had. It is so nice to see this ministry growing, though we are near out-growing the ritual space. We have some thinking to do about that dilemma.