Another Perspective

There is so much going on right now, and I'm more stressed than I need to be about all of it. Let's explore that with some lists.

First, the stressors

Still not sleeping
Need to spice up the tarot lesson
Need to finish the tarot board
Need to buy wood finish
Need to finish the auction doll
Need to order smaller shipping boxes
Need to order jewelry boxes
Need to get a list of shipping costs
Need to take pictures
Need to write up bios and policies
Need a new watch battery
Feeling blocked and unable to do anything about it
Feeling exceptionally worried about LDS
and a bit about what I want verses what I can have

Next, the deadlines

I have until next Thursday to finish with my lesson.
I have until next Wednesday to finish the board.
I have until next Sunday to finish the doll.
I would like to have the boxes in hand as soon after Mother's Day as possibly possible.

Then, we have the plans

I get paid tomorrow, I can order the boxes tonight and run by the craft store for wood stain on my way home.
Since the doll is due first, I can hold off on the board (which is almost done) and work on the doll.
Even if there are things I want to add to my lesson, it is fine as-is, so that's not a priority.
I know who can help me with the blocks, I just need to ask her.
Write-ups and shipping costs can wait until the last of the boxes actually get here.
Pictures will have to wait another week.
I can't do anything about LDS and her predicament. Only wait for news and hope.

The main kicker are my first and last stressors. Sleeping will improve as other things get crossed off the list. I'm sure of it. The other thing, well that's not in my control. It involves other people. Still, I know what I want, and I know what I don't want, and they're in conflict. That's where the stress is.

This did not make me feel better like that last time I organized my priorities.

Bang

A good start means nothing when you jump the gun.

I Am Not a Doctor

I can't diagnose or treat any condition. I can offer opinions based on my limited knowledge, research, and experience, and Reiki to help bring things back into balance, but a doctor I am not. I know this. My friends know it too, and they know to take my opinions for what they are, opinions only.

LDS has been having trouble for months, I think. The last time she had unexplained health complaints, she went to a doctor and found out she was pregnant. This was not a possibility this time. She went to a doctor, and they found a tear in her stomach lining, likely caused by taking too much ibuprofen. She was given a prescription medication to help it heal, but couldn't afford it and insurance won't cover it. I don't know if she asked the doctor for an affordable alternative (knowing her, probably not). Still with amazing side and stomach pains, she went back to the doctor and they found another tear in her esophagus. The pain also manifested in her right shoulder. You know what that sounds like to my not-medically-trained mind? The gallbladder.

Doctors told her she was too young, but they said the same thing to Phoenix when she had her gallbladder removed for stones. They decided to do a hida scan to check for problems in the bile duct. After some run around with insurance, the earliest appointment she could get was this past Friday. On Tuesday, the pain was too great and the fact that she couldn't eat anything other than rice put her in a hospital. They did an ultrasound and found no gall stones. I was sure that had to be the answer. I'm still not a doctor, but all signs were pointing to that. It is not so. At least she knows what it's not.

LDS hasn't been to work for a week. She's still waiting for the results of the hida scan. I think I'm almost as frustrated as she is. Not because I was wrong (of course, I'm not a doctor. Still, I'm happy she convinced them to test for it, I could have been right), but because not knowing is half of the problem. Maybe it is just the tears that are causing so much pain for her. They should heal up, more so with the help of some nice drugs if she could get them. I have some things in mind for her to do about that, but it's more than I can easily communicate through a text message. The first is asking the doctor for some less-pricey, maybe over-the-counter alternatives. The second is convincing the insurance that it is medically necessary so they will cover it. The third is asking if the manufacturer can help her with the cost. After a week of rice, anything is worth a try.

I'm hoping with her that the hida scan will reveal something. It's frightening to have something painfully wrong and not know what it is or what you can do about it. I want her to have answers. Other people need her and depend on her and she needs to be well. Here's hoping for answers and, with them, a solution.

Sudden Heat

The weather turned suddenly warm on us. That's fine. We have air conditioning in the condo. We were hoping to not have to turn it on for most of the spring, but oh well.

But, wait! It's not working! It's been on all day and it's not doing a thing! Crap! I hope my meager fan will be sufficient. I can't sleep with the window open. Not with that noisy street outside. I think I'll cuddle up with a nice ice pack from the freezer. That sounds like a plan.

A Change in Plans

My friend and I were planning on taking a date day to Great Falls. By the time he got here, we decided it was a little too warm for a hike and we weren't yet ready for it. So, we stayed in and took a nap.

That's the way it goes sometimes!

Drink More Water

When you have a fever, nothing will help you more than drinking water. Nothing. No. Thing.

Sure, sleep is nice. Chicken soup makes you feel better. Maybe even good ole acetaminophen will help bring those numbers down. But. You. Must. Drink. Water. Period.

If you don't, the high temperatures of your fever will cause you to dehydrate. When you get too dehydrated, your risk renal failure. And that equals some hours with an IV drip. For my dad, last night it was four, and two liters of life-sustaining fluids.

We took him back to the emergency after care clinic today for some more blood tests, so the doctors could determine if his kidneys started working again. To our relief, they had, though they were not yet completely doing what they should. He then had to withstand lectures from my mom and I about drinking water when you spend a few days with a fever of 102.

Everyone got that? If you have a fever, drink water. No excuse will be acceptable. Water. Drink it.

I Shouldn't Have

But I did, and I know I won't regret it. And I'll tell you all about it when it gets here.

Rolling

I needed tires. I got some tires. One more thing off of the to-do list.

Is It Just Me

Or did Girl Genius leave off at a terrible spot today?

Gah! The suspense!

Something New

Well, new for this blog anyway.

Shadow Grove is planning a festival for Beltane again. It's the same festival that brought me to that great community a year ago. The festival has expanded to span four days and will include a number of wonderful guests. Like last year, I will be leading a workshop on learning the tarot. Unlike last year, however, I can't be there for the entire festival. We were unable to get the park for our first choice of Beltane weekend, so our festival will be the following weekend, the weekend of Mother's Day. Knowing my mother, she'll want to kayak, and she'll want me to be there. Also, my aunt is visiting from Utah that weekend and it will be nice to see her (not to mention I will be expected to be at my grandmother's home for dinner on whichever day they're having it). This works out ok, as I can hold two workshops on Friday morning and evening, and still have time to experience the opening ritual and spend some time offering my Reiki services at the Healing Garden.

New this year, we will be offering tarot readings. Since I can't be there all weekend, the ministers were able to book a new member of the Grove for the readings. In a recent turn, this person found she was pregnant and ordered on bed rest (best of luck and health to you!) which leaves the position of tarot reader vacant. Perhaps I am the logical choice to fill that position, except that I will only be there the first two days. We still need a reader for Saturday and Sunday.

I am happy to do this, even though I'm a little nervous because I haven't read for others in years. I think it's much like riding a bike; I know the cards and the things they can mean and I know the spreads I am comfortable using. There are just a few snags, all of practicality and logistics. The first is that pesky weekend where I won't be there because of family obligations. The second is the simple fact that no two readers read the same way. The original person we had coming listed a couple spreads that she uses and based pricing for service on those (she is a professional reader, actually, and has more experience in that regard than I). The thing is, I hate the Celtic Cross spread, one of her features. I stopped working with it more than a decade ago. No matter if I read for two days or we find someone else to read for the duration of the festival, the content of what we offer will have to change.

It feels like a small set-back to me, which is a very good thing. The biggest problem is filling Saturday and Sunday. I've been working on an elemental spread. The idea came from my friends at Goldentree Wands, though I admit that I never got a reading from her and didn't really pay attention when she was reading at GoddessFest. The idea came from them, but the actual spread, how I work it and what it means, are my own because of that fact. It needs some refining to bring it to a place where I can work with it for others. I have a few weeks to do this. I could always focus on a pyramid spread as well. I'll find something comparable that works.

I'm excited about doing this, but the truth is that I need to exercise my skills. So, in the spirit of getting myself comfortable in reading for others again, I'm going to work with my deck every day. It will start with one card in the morning that I will define, think about, and reflect on for the course of the day. I will then do a weekly reading of eight cards, one for each day of the week and a card for the week in general. Then the daily cards throughout the week will modify that. On the first day of a new month, I will pull an extra card for that month. Starting next week, I will post my weekly spread, and I will pull them with general purpose: that is, so they will apply to most people instead of a specific question or situation of my own. I have a lot of preparation to do for the festival, for my workshop and possibly taking this over. This feels like a good place to begin.

The card of the day, because I know you are wondering, is the Four of Pentacles Reversed. This is the miser, signifying that I am holding on to something when I should be letting go, when it's ok to let it go. It might be money, or maybe an idea, or maybe something as basic as uncertainty. This is what I have to think about today.