Up The Wall

We've all heard this expression, right? "It drives me up the wall!" My coworker (the one who I spend time with socially) was telling me about a new game, Uno Spin. And how much fun it is to play and how the spin board will drive you up the wall. We're going out (not out as in date out, so all of you dismiss those thoughts right now) on Friday to look for it.

Some time ago, I got this crazy mental image of being driven up a wall (as in literally). In this crazy thought, whatever it was that was driving me up the wall was coming at me, and I was all crumpled up in the corner of this empty room and quickly inch-worming up the wall (like how I made that a verb?). Now every time someone says something is driving them up a wall, I get this comical thought in my brain.

When I was typing this up at work, I had more to say (I think) but now that I'm home, I'm ready to just veg out. Ten hours of work is hard when you've got 3-some hours of commute on top of it. And I didn't do a whole lot of sleeping last night.

I Feel Like I Have Nothing to Say

Go figure.

Let's see, the e-mail box that I'm supposed to answer is out of control because I'm not sitting around waiting for a new one to show up. Get bent, says I. I was busy helping with one of the department's critical functions when a message (that ultimately had to be forwarded to a different department) came in around 1030. By 1050, Boss² sent an e-mail wondering who was supposed to be doing it because it hadn't been done yet. By 1130, I finished the critical function and proceeded to forward the message to the right place. Oh, I'm so sorry that I was doing something important and the message had to wait an hour. Of course, no one took any notice of the seven messages I had already resolved by then. And, yes, Acting Supervisor was told to take me into the conference room and give me a talking to about it. But they did tell me that the real supervisor and Boss² seem to have a cow over every e-mail box, not just mine. That helped. A bit. Stupid people. No one was going to die because this message waited an hour.

I didn't work overtime today. They were calling for rain and possibly the first snow of the season and some ice once the sun went down, and I've got far to go, so I didn't wait for the sun to freeze the already dreadful bridge I have to cross. Thankfully, everyone who mattered understood. More money tomorrow. No big deal.

So, remember the map that I was wanting to draw out yesterday? I sat down to work on it at lunch and the image I had just kept blending with another story I'm working on (map also unfinished). That's just not fair! Maybe I'll get to muddle through it tonight since I'm not at work. I guess that just happens when you have more than one project. For the record, I have three official writing projects going on right now, the aforementioned two and the huge epic I started in 1995. Yes, that one will take forever. Once again, this pesky job gets in the way of what I'd rather be doing. But that's ok. I really am happy to have it. Even means to an end as it is.

That looks good, I'll stop there.

Strange Feeling of the Day

You know how your day can have a certain feel, a certain air about it? Today is very strange to me.

First, it feels odd because it's raining and the weekend was so nice. I didn't start sleeping when I went to bed last night because someone was lighting fireworks (which is illegal in my state for individual people to have). Their light flashed through my window like crackling lightening. I'm still a little upset at my dad that he didn't tell us he was going to be out all night and didn't show up at home until about 1530 without even saying hello. And I'm planning on working overtime this week so I know my day is going to be a lot longer than normal.

I also seem to be dwelling on a book I just finished reading; Eldest, the sequel to Eragon by author Christopher Paolini. Yes, yes, I know I'm not in the target audience, but I enjoyed the recent movie based on Eragon and wanted to read it. I'm not impressed with this authors writing style, and I'm having a hard time getting past an inappropriate semi-quote from Blazing Saddles that just broke the fantasy feeling right to pieces. But if not expertly written (he does have his moments, I was much more impressed before he started pulling near-verbatim phrases from previous works, the Blazing Saddles one being the biggest affront to my fantasy-oriented mind) the story is good and gripping and strikes my imagination.

The surest sign of a good story (in my personal non-expert opinion) is when I start adding my own characters to it. I think fan-fiction has got to be the genre I write most often (though it's rarely shared, or even physically written, it's a just for me kind of thing). This is one of the things I do to expand what I want to explore as a writer. I can do this in another's world and not have to worry about what goes into creating one (the world, that is, and I do create my own worlds. My internal fan fiction is a tool and helps me work on other, less complex, aspects of writing.) I've done this since I was little with the cartoons I watched. Nothing ever comes of it and nothing is supposed to. I do consider it a compliment to the creators of the worlds I use. It means I can see their world enough to place a character in it myself. If there is one thing I have learned, it's that I cannot write it if I cannot see it. Imitation is the highest form of flattery, they say.

The problem with adding my characters to stories that are not yet complete is that their place has to be altered as the story progresses. Of course, the authors are not going to write to accommodate the character(s) I create in their world, nor do I expect them to. That would just be silly, and is not the point of the exercise. So, yes, I do have a character or two that I've mentally placed in Paolini's world. They have a story of their own, and they fit into the current action (to the limit of my own knowledge of it). The further I read, the more I've had to change my part of the story. This presents a challenge that adding characters to complete stories doesn't face. For something that's already done, like Star Wars (excluding the myriad of published fan fiction that I don't involve myself with) it's a simple matter to work my characters into what's already happened and develop their story from the unknowns of what happens next. For works in progress (like this one and, say, Harry Potter) the characters I create and their purpose and role in the story are being constantly changed and modified to fit into the author's still evolving world. Herein lies the challenge. The longer I have to develop my own tales before the actual story moves on, the harder it is to make them fit (I get attached to my characters even when they're not in my worlds). But what I do get are stories that don't work for the world they were created, and then can disregard them, remember them, or expand them into a world of their own. This is the point of the exercise. One of the tales I'm working on now is a direct descendant of one such internal fan fiction.

So, I'm lingering on the tale I just read because, well, it was good. And I have to know how it ends. And Eldest ended in such a way that I don't want to expand my IFF because I know a lot will need to be changed when the story moves on. (Write, dude, write!) I don't intend to get a child story out of this one. Sometimes they can be moved into their own universe and sometimes they can't. Most of my IFFs don't amount to anything, but parts of them can be used. And don't think for a minute that everything I write came from one of these little things I do.

I wonder how many of you are reading through this wondering where to send the white coats!

I suppose this means that most of my day has been and will be spent in another world. That's going to account for most of the weird feeling about it that I'm getting right now. The main story I'm working on is moving nicely, but I've come to a place where I won't be able to continue until I finish the map. All of my stories have maps. When creating a world, it helps the writer to see it (and remember it and not change it halfway through) and I've learned that it also helps the reader to keep your world straight. If it wasn't for this overtime, I'd be busy mapping! Oh, how I wish I wasn't at work right now!

Food and Hats

Today was our monthly brunch in Annapolis. The weather was nice (not as nice as yesterday). It was just my mom, our friend Fox, and myself today. Dad went to a party last night and didn't come home.

We hate when he does that. It's different if he went somewhere and told us he may or may not stay the night or something. My dad is often very inconsiderate of us. It's hard to not be angry when it happens. When you live with other people, you have a responsibility to let them know your plans. How would we ever know if something was wrong if he doesn't tell us what he's doing?

Anyway. No one else made it to brunch, but we had a lovely time. And I bought a new hat! It's an Irish walking hat, made of patchwork wool tweed in County Donegal (where my mother's side of the family is from). Now I'm all ready for a trip to Ireland! Someday!

Sum-Sum-Summertime?

Feels like it! The DC area hit a record high of 73 today.

I woke up to the gentle singing of birds, went shopping, took a nap, and then walked around the neighborhood with my mother.

We do this fairly frequently, it's good for us! Since we are regular walkers, we know that there seems to be more dogs than people living in our neighborhood. We'll see a car with someone coming or going occasionally, but for the most part, it's quiet (save for the dogs) and peopleless.

Today was a totally different story. Kids were out playing basketball, people were washing cars, tending to their lawns, checking their mail. There were even parents outside playing with their kids. It was amazing. We saw actual people on almost every street we walked on. I have neighbors!

I've lived in this neighborhood all my life. It's quaint, with one entrance off of a major highway. I've watched people move in and out. As a matter of fact, I can now say that my parents have lived here longer than anyone. We live in one of the first houses built, and everyone else who got in when the neighborhood was young and affordable have moved away.

Well, it warmed my heart (though it could have been the exercise) to see people out and about around my home. That active atmosphere fits it much better than the ghost town-like streets we usually see.

So Much for That

I like to consider myself a good worker. I show up, sit down, and dive in. Except for the occasional blog posting or checking of forums to keep my sanity with a short mental break, I'm at my desk and working. Sometimes, I'm so consumed in my work I put off getting up even to pee. I don't spend my days chatting, writing a bunch of e-mails, or making personal phone calls.

I also work well independently. That is, not that I can't work with other, but that I'm far more productive when I know what is expected of me before I sit down. This is part of what I loved about the last task they had me on. By its nature, it was constant work, and I always knew when I began my day what I had to do. I could go through entire days without any communication from my supervisors, I knew what had to be done, and they knew I knew it and trusted that I did it. I work best like this.

Now, I'm doing so many odd jobs and have been without a supervisor so long that a day doesn't go by when I don't get an e-mail or several about what I should do that day. I hate this. Especially if I've already established the day before with, say Boss², what I've committed to getting done.

Today was one of those days. There was an e-mail waiting for me in which Acting Sup said "please make sure the e-mails are done or delegated today." I admit, my response was more of a snap. I'm not an idiot, in fact, I'm probably better educated than half of the people in this department. Maybe I didn't properly prioritize the work I was expected to do yesterday, but I do not need a daily reminder of what is supposed to be done. Especially on days when only one person is out of the office and the load of our work will not be falling only on me.

I couldn't help but be offended. Why did they hire me if I can't be trusted to know my job? Why do they keep me if I'm not getting the job done? Really, I am getting the job done. It may not be immediate, but it gets done.

Adolf the first never had to tell me day in and day out what to do. This is how I work, and how I work at my best. This is what minimizes the amount of time I spend doing non-work things. This doesn't mean I never need direction, mind you, but not every day. Once given a project, I will work it to completion and move on to the next one. If I don't have anything to do, I ask for something. If I do not ask for something, that means I have tasks to complete. Unless those tasks need to be changed for one reason or another, then I don't need to be told. If management doesn't know what I'm doing, that's a whole different problem.

Defining Postal

Not literally, but it sure felt like I was coming close.

One of the things that we have to do in our department is answer the phone. We have a number that's printed on all our checks for someone to call if they need us to change something like an address. It's used for everything, because it seems like our phone line is the only one manned and customers and merchants alike know it.

The phone has been a point of office contention for me since they put me on it some three years ago. I've been the only one answering that, and the voice mail for that line, for some time. Occasionally, management will tell other people to help answer, but they ALWAYS stop doing it because they think their work is so important that they cannot be interrupted to take care of a phone call. Truth be told, the more people ready to take calls, the less any one person will be bombarded with them. But no one seems to see it that way. And no matter how many people get assigned to answer and drop out, I am the one who gets yelled at if the phone or voice mail does not get answered.

There are four of us who have certain designated times when we are expected to be ready to take calls. There's usually only one or two people ready at any given time. If no one is ready, it goes to the voice mail, where a fifth person takes care of those (no longer me, THANK WHOEVER IS UP THERE!). Naturally, the more calls we answer, the less gets left on voice mail.

One of my coworkers has been out all week. And remember that WAM has bronchitis. WAM's hacking squeaking annoyingly loud cough makes WAM exempt from answering the phone (more talk makes more cough, get it? Though that didn't stop WAM from talking a lot today....). Another person who usually comes in at 1000 wasn't expected until 1430 or 1500 or so, around the time when I leave. Yup, that means yours truly is the only person on the phone today. Plus, I have to do coworker #1's regular work in their absence. Plus, I have to do coworker #3's regular work in their absence. Plus, acting supervisor told me to do some other work 'in between' the work that I usually do and all of the coworkers work that I'm backing up. Get it?

One person on the phone means ring, answer, finish, repeat. It wasn't this work in between this work, it was back-up work in between phone calls. By 1000, I finished coworker #1's regular work (which included 250 manual updates) and hadn't done anything else (including the phone). By lunch time at 1200, I had taken ten phone calls and finished seven of coworker #3's stuff (of which we both are expected to do 30 in a day). By about 1400, 15 phone calls, and only one more got added to the total of the other stuff. Absolutely everything else remained untouched. My regular work, the rest of the back-up stuff, everything. I was so busy on that friggin phone that I didn't even have time to delegate work (of which I am allowed, but generally expected to complete myself).

Somewhere between 1415 and 1430 or so, I get a call from Boss². "Who is supposed to be answering the phone right now," I get asked, "because I was over there and I just heard you picking up call after call after call?" Hallelujah! "Technically," says I, "it's WAM's time to be on the phone, but WAM can't do it because of the hack cough. And since the other two are out, it's been only me all day. And since I've been on the phone all day, I've only done 8 jobs and nothing else." Boss² tells me to get off the phone right then and there and let the voice mail rep take care of it. The other work is important. Boss² also lets me say I'll take care of that stuff that I can delegate tomorrow. Three cheers for Boss².

Exactly as I hang up the phone (by the why, when Boss² called, I was not ready to take calls because I was busy finishing up the previous one that had to be sent to another group within my department), an e-mail gets sent to myself, WAM, and coworker #3, with the supervisors copied. This e-mail came from the only actually paid-to-be-one supervisor in my department (not my supervisor, I don't have one right now, remember?). This e-mail said "There is no one on the phone right now to take my call." Sup had taken that moment to test our call readiness by calling to see if we answered.

This was my near-postal moment. In fact, it was probably the seconds-earlier call from Boss² that saved me. Whenever management decides to test us to see if we're doing our jobs, it's always at the precise moment when we (legitimately) are busy with something else. Last time Boss² tested it, we were all already on calls and therefore couldn't take anymore. What I hate about this practice is that every last one of them assumes because I wasn't there and ready at that very moment that I haven't been doing it at all for the entire day. I politely responded to the e-mail sender only that I had been doing it all day and had just been given permission to do otherwise to get some other work done. Then Boss² responded to everyone on that e-mail that I had been doing it all day and had just been given permission to do otherwise to get some other work done.

Then! My friend, who is also on the supervisor list but isn't actually a supervisor (this is the one I spend social time with), tells me that Sup just sent an e-mail to the supervisor list wondering why I had not answered any of the group e-mails (this is the stuff that I have the power to delegate if I can't do it myself). I explained to my friend the why and that Boss² said it was ok to wait until tomorrow. My friend does not like this supervisor about as much as I don't. This person is quick to tell you what you're not doing, but of course will never actually do it themselves. If there was ever a time I wanted to throttle this individual, it was now.

When I was AssMan at the Pharmacy, I would delegate, and once everyone had a task and was busy working it, I would do the next task. That's what a manager of any level should do. It's not about doing no work. It's about giving work to the peons and doing what's left. Not so with OBC. This place is all delegate and no do. Sup could have easily done those things but instead decided to bitch about it. (did I just swear again? What am I up to, 3? =) No one cares about what I actually did do during the course of the day, it was all about the things I didn't do.

Really, the momentously good timing of Boss²'s understanding saved me from making a very loud, career-killing scene on the floor today.

Tomorrow will be a better day. Coworker #3 will be in at the regular 1000 time, the 250 updates of coworker #1's work should be about 120, and I will take the time to do or delegate those e-mails before I even touch the other stuff.

And please, for the love of kittens and woolly sheep, don't call me.

HELP ME!!

WAM has bronchitis. WAM sits at the desk right behind mine. WAM is sitting there right now, coughing and squeaking like a seal. (I'm sorry to seals everywhere.)

The only time I've ever had bronchitis was in college, and I had it simultaneously with strep throat. Believe me, you have never known pain like that. I didn't eat for a week, lost 30 lbs. and came close to failing all my classes (thank the heavens and the earth and all that is beneath the earth for understanding teachers and extra credit opportunities!).

When I asked what WAM was doing at work (searching for sympathy, I think. "Oh, I'm sick with bronchitis, poor me!") the answer was "the doctor said I could come if I felt like it."

GO HOME!! DON'T BRING YOUR ICKY GERMS HERE!!

I swear, if I get sick again, after having just gotten over laryngitis, I will take off someone's head. And it will most likely be WAM's....

Other than that, and the co-worker coughing on the other side of me, I'm having a better day then yesterday. I feel like I want to surround my cubicle in heavy plastic, though!

Out of Nowhere

Don't you hate those days when you're down and feeling blue and just not in a good mood, and remember at some point that you were in pretty good spirits yesterday? What happened, you might ask yourself. What happened between yesterday and today that made you go from sunshine and lollipops to a rock feels no pain? Maybe it's the migraine, maybe it's the start of the work week, with more than half of my group not here today and me expected to back up everyone's job. It could be the cold weather, or the rain that prevented us from watching the year turn over with friends.

That's how my morning is going. But don't fret, I'm starting to feel better.

Really!
One of my coworkers who is also my friend called to say she and her sister were making plans to go snowboarding for the weekend at the end of February. I couldn't go with them over the Christmas holiday because I couldn't get off of work. But this time, they gave me enough notice to ask for the days off, which have been approved. Yahoo! boarding time! Well, in a couple months.

And, I finally found someone who has some drugs, and they're starting to kick in (you know, for the migraine).

And, they're offering us overtime at work, which I'm going to do next week when it will count. Hello, moolah! (Is that how you spell that?)

And, I've reevaluated what I want to accomplish this year. Step one: write them down. Done. Step two: break them up and write out plans. Not done yet. Step three: execute the plans. Obviously, not done yet! But!! there is a plan!

Well, here's another down slip. Everyone telling me about the 3 people's jobs I'm supposed to be doing is slowing me down from doing them. I understand, people! Just go away and let me handle it!!

I suppose I can safely say that work was the cause of it all to begin with (probably including the migraine. Everything but the weather, really).

Happy New Year!

Welcome, 2007!

When I was little, my thoughts used to be filled with all the first things I did in the new year. The first song I heard, for example (a movement from Vivaldi's Four Seasons, if you want to know), the first time I get in my car or brush my teeth (which usually happens at 2 or 3 in the morning). Silly trifles that get repeated all year, but for some reason I would mark them in my mind as something special just because the date changed. And here's my first blog!

We went to my grandmother's for dinner, both of my mother's siblings were there with their spouses. I see my mother's side of the family enough, but her sister the least of that. My aunt lives in Salt Lake City, she's been visiting more frequently in recent years, and I always love speaking with her. We got to have a little conversation after dinner and it was nice. She doesn't seem to be against the idea of me moving out of this area completely, actually said I probably need it. It's always nice to have someone agree with you.

The weekend in general was spent with some books. That's something I haven't done is a while and I do really enjoy sitting around reading a good story. A welcomed rest to have nothing to do but read. It doesn't happen often.