Wednesday, October 26, 2005

In the Clearing Stands a Boxer

A friend of mine sent me a Yahoo article this morning that said the tiredness I've been feeling at work is called "sick worker syndrom." Often mistaken for a simple lack of productivity, and caused by a chemical called cytokine that is produced from nerve injuries caused by repetitive movement like typing. Nice to know I'm unhappy with my job because of chemicals my job makes my body produce.

I have to put this up, this is from a quiz on listening on MSN:

A friend confides that she is miserable at her job but feels stuck. You:
a. Give her the names of headhunters, addresses for job fairs, etc.
b. Ask her to tell you why she hates her job and what she wants to do next.
c. Buy her another drink and say, "Yeah, work sucks."
d. Tell her how you solved your own career dilemmas.
Your answer: b. Ask her to tell you why she hates her job and what she wants to do next. The correct answer is: b. Ask her to tell you why she hates her job and what she wants to do next.

When a friend confides in you, it's a mistake to assume that she's asking you to solve her problem. "When people are hurting and talk about it, they aren't necessarily looking for a solution -- they're looking for understanding," says Sullivan. Brainstorming and troubleshooting certainly have their place, but it's condescending to try to save the day before you've asked your friend to go into detail about her problem and her plans for handling it. Offering your friend the validation that "work sucks" might comfort her in the moment, but could also be interpreted as a subtle way of saying "Hey, quit your bellyaching. We all have troubles." Your first priority should be to let your friend vent.

The reason I had to share this is because I have a friend (I know you're reading) who might learn something here. Note the passage higlighted in red, you know who you are. (This made me think of you ;) don't be offended or anything!) By the way, our new friend did find his medallion.

Oh, and I think I know why the sadness that comes with the end of faire wasn't there this year. It's because my group actually did keep in mostly regular contact in the off-season. Thanks to a fabulous idea from the first aforementioned friend, we got together at a preset time and place for brunch every month (I've blogged about these brunches before). This allowed us to catch up and spend some time wandering and shopping around Annapolis afterwards. We didn't get a chance to miss our friends because we saw (most of them) frequently. We're going to keep it up this year too, and put it a little earlier so we have more time. What a great idea!

I still need to look into that Wonder Woman costume. Today I'm doing the stuff I like and the 63 jobs of the stuff I don't! They just want me to do everything! Besides, I don't think there's enough time in the morning to get me in a kimono before work.