Sunday, October 26, 2008

Call Me Dolt

You know, scratch that. Maybe it's not such a foolish thing after all.

Years and years ago, someone gave me a gift for Christmas. It was a little frog and clock on a lily pad. Nothing special, really. I happen to be rather partial to frogs (this must come from working at Tall Toad at the Renaissance Festival) and it so happens that this friend who gave me this gift and I have gone our separate ways. I rarely thought much of it, really. It stayed in the box for years. I brought it with me when I moved out, and it's been sitting on my desk, keeping time in its little froggy way.

Tonight, I noticed it wasn't here.

Miss Luna has been knocking things off my desk for some time. I recently moved things around so that she wouldn't have things to knock off. I didn't move the clock. Sometime last week, I heard the distinctive clunk of something heavy falling into my metal trash can. I didn't find anything and took the trash out.

And there is no frog clock.

And I am very upset about this. The truth is, I didn't realize how important it was to me until I discovered that I must have thrown it out. I've searched every logical place and some illogical ones. Phoenix and her boyfriend searched too. It's not here.

So, I've been calling myself a fool all night for being so attached to a thing that, most days, I didn't even think about. But, maybe it's not so foolish after all. Maybe it was a silent reminder of my friend. The paths of our lives split for no catastrophic reason, just that they did, and sometimes it happens that way. But that tiny little clock made me smile, and think of my friend, and hope she's doing well where her life took her. Maybe it's not so foolish to have that reminder and miss it when it's gone. I won't forget my friend. I just don't have a trinket to help me remember anymore. I'm still upset about that, but I'm feeling less foolish for it. I know I'm sentimental. It's not such a bad thing.

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