Progress

I didn't cry at all yesterday.

Crying is a silly thing anyway. It doesn't help, it doesn't make you feel better, in fact it makes you feel sore and achy and tired. But it happens, and that's just the way it is.

Maybe the lovely weather put me in a good mood, maybe focusing on things I have to do around the house made me not think about it, maybe acceptance is starting to set in. Nothing has changed, of course. I'm starting to not expect it to. I'm starting to get used to being on my own again. It's not a bad place that I'm finding myself at all.

Don't get me wrong, my heart still hurts. And if I think about things and let my doubts come to the front of my mind, my heart aches more.

I still have hope, but I'm to the point now where I know I'll be ok if we don't work out too. I'm still hurting now, but whatever happens, I’m going to be ok.