Friday, March 21, 2008

Ostara, the Vernal Equinox

An equinox is so named because the time of daylight and darkness is in equal measure. This is the first equinox of the year, marking the beginning of spring for people in the northern hemisphere.

Despite the cold weather my area has been experiencing, the trees are starting to bloom, birds are returning to their summer nests, and fair weather insects and amphibians can be heard through the night.

I've been personally suffering an intense case of winter blues, and only last night realized that is what it was. The process of changing my residence has stalled for now, which hasn't helped my mood. I was certainly expecting to be moved in and settling by now. Because of this, all of my tools are safely packed up in move anticipation, leaving me to performing a very simple meditation ritual.

I placed a pink candle, pink to represent the flowering sakura trees I love so much, into a painted jar and cast my circle. I prepared myself by focusing on the candle and filling my head with thoughts of spring and what spring means: new beginnings, starting fresh, and certainly warmer days that can be spent out of doors. I then picked up an old Book of Shadows and a pencil and started writing.

This is a form of meditation called automatic writing. The only rule it to write whatever comes to mind, and not to stop. I wrote for thirty minutes and filled five pages. The candlelight was just enough so that I could see the lines on the page, but not what was being written. I did not exactly follow the lines on the page, but writing neatly is not the objective. It is an exercise of meditation and channeling. When done right, you don't have any conscious thought about what you are actually writing.

I read over my pages of scribble this morning and found a lot of thoughts about how I've been feeling lately, where it's really coming from, and why I want to hide those reasons, and what I've really been feeling, from the people who are important to me.
Just as spring is a time of beginnings, this exercise allowed for beginning; beginning to see the truth behind my actions and emotions, and maybe even beginning to move them in a different, more positive, direction.

Embrace your beginnings.

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