Thursday, March 20, 2008

What Am I Working Towards?

I'm working and saving and exhausting myself because I want to get out of my parents' house. Why? Because I'm saturated with them, I spend too much time with them, and the "special" times I should have with them are no different than any other day? Then what?

I once had big dreams. I had ways I thought my life would lead. They changed around a bit through the years, but for the most part, there were three things I've wanted, and I'd be willing to settle for two out of three of those. I always knew I'd never have them all. Recently, I was sure I'd never have any. I've failed so thoroughly and completely every time I've tried that I've stopped dreaming altogether. Anything I do now is more like going through the motions.

Everything is nothing.

If I have nothing to dream, what am I even doing here?

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