Turning No Where

Have you ever had a time where you felt there was no one to go to for comfort, or just to listen, or even to sit in silence because presence sometimes helps?

That's what depression is, and you can be depressed about everything, or just one thing, large issues, or silly non-issues.

I have not been feeling like my normal cheerful, happy self recently. There's no need to worry. I've had to deal with it on my own since high school, when I was diagnosed with severe clinical depression. I've had lots of practice and I know how to deal with it now.

Some days are lower than others, and help is completely in my court.

I've tried therapy in the past. It didn't help. Especially since I was forced to go without for nine months of the year. I have the same opinion of psychologists as I do medical doctors: I have yet to meet one who actually wants to help.

I found such joy in my thirty minute ride yesterday. It was slower going than I probably would have done if I were not riding while my mother was walking, but it was fantastic just the same. Part of it was probably the solitude, even though I was with my mother, I was also not (if that makes any sense). I hope I will have a chance to go back out tonight when I get home. Willow once told me that she heard somewhere that bike riding doesn't help to work your ab muscles. Whoever said that probably had not ridden a bike in a while! I felt like at least the lower ones were being worked fine. And, it really works your core muscles, and those are quite important.