A Wish for a Shroud

I feel like hiding. I feel like I have nothing in common with the people I always associate with. I don't want anyone around, and there are only a handful of people I want to still be there when I do want people around again. I need a hermitage and I've got nothing. It doesn't matter anyway. No matter how many friends I have, I'll always be alone.

Yesterday, someone told me that a lot of my opinions and ideas are farcical. A couple people this morning said the same thing, and no, it was not in jest. I think I'm better off just keeping them to myself. Who gives a damn about what I think anyway?

I got my graded mid-course ventriloquism exam and a nifty certificate of completion for the first half of the course yesterday. So many people can move their lips while nothing is coming out. Now I can say a whole lot of nothing without moving my lips. Go me. Well, really, go me. In the letter, the owner of Maher Studios mentioned that I got a 100% score and that doesn't happen very often. Really, go me! I was even named, along with other recent graduates, on the owner’s blog. I feel accomplished.

There's still no word on my loan. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to settle in three days without one.

I talked to Turtle yesterday. The first thing she said was "Because I haven't heard from you, I assume you didn't get the house." That's actually the second time she has said that to me. No, the reason I haven't talked to Turtle in a while is because she tends to assume no news is bad news, so by the time we do talk, she's all with the doom and gloom. Thanks for your confidence, Turtle. Monty wasn't much better. The last message I got from him was asking if he needed to change move date plans (because he's going to help me). Really, guys, if plans change, I will let all of you who are involved know as soon as I can. Right now, I'm still expecting to settle on Friday. I'm still expecting to take apart my bed and cram it into the CR-V, and probably get some food in the house. And I'm still expecting to take a truck over to my grandmother's with big strong men in tow to get her very old loveseat. If anything changes, I will let the people directly affected know about it. A little trust that I will do that would be nice too. Now that I think about it, only Fox, LDS, and TG haven't assumed the worst because I have no news yet. Thanks, guys! (I know I've never named LDS and TG before. I hope LDS will find my choice of name amusing. TG is my friend with whom I've been snowboarding.)

Actually, I'm expecting to hear from either the sales lady or the loan guy today. And then we'll find out if plans really need to change. I don't think they will.

Now that I've said all that, I'll keep my ludicrous ideas to myself and get back to work.