Here's the Deal

So everyone understands, will have the knowledge, and will stop bugging me about it.

I am single. I have been since...dear...I think my second year of college. So, nearly ten years. And I will be forever.

There's something about me, that I don't know what it is, that no one wants. I'm pretty, and fun to be around, and willing to try new things, and can hold a good conversation. I'm in good health, and it's easier to find me in a good mood than not. I'm in control of my life, have (very flexible) plans for my future alone, and keep my finances in order. I have a variety of interests, and friends and acquaintances all over the world.

But, that's not good enough.

One person in that span of near ten years told me he didn't think he fit into my plan. He never asked me what that was, and never told me why he thought he didn't fit in it. Even to someone who shows interest, I'm not worth pursuing. And before you tell me the door swings both ways, if you don't believe in dragons, you're not going to waste your life looking for one.

Now, before you sit back and think this is going to be one of those "boo hoo, poor me" blog entries, it's not. I'm ok with this. I accepted long ago that I'll be on my own for all of my life. And I'm moving forward, in the right direction to get what I want.

The reason I'm saying this is to stop everyone from saying "oh, you haven't met the right guy" or "you're still young" or "someone will come along, you'll see." He doesn't exist, no I'm not, and no he won't.

Also, and you know who you are, I would like you to stop coming to me for relationship advice. The one who hasn't had any success probably isn't the best person to ask. And I don't want you, and you know who you are, to complain about how awful your life is even though you have a job you're good at, and a house, and a spouse, and kids, but you're still in the worst place imaginable. My friends, there are people in the world who will never have what you have. Please stop complaining to them about what you lack.

I'm also hoping this will help you, fair readers, to understand why I loathe weddings (and all the related hubbub surrounding them) and new baby parties. Don't be offended if I don't stay to the bitter end or decline to come at all. Yes, I'm happy for you, but your moment of happiness reminds me of the most lamentable shattered dream I've ever had. I'd much rather tell you I'm happy for you and be on my way back to my own little looking-after-me world. It's a 24/7 operation, you see, because no one is going to do it if I don't. I can't take my attentions away for very long.

Don't worry, dear friends and kind readers, I am happy. I am on track. I am not bitter, or angry, or going to spend my days waiting for a fictional character to walk through my door (no offence to living fictional characters everywhere, I do know you're out there. You're just meant for some other fairy princess.). So, please, for me, stop pestering and badgering and insisting that there is someone in the world who could be my life partner. It is too late for him to show up, therefore he must not be.

And I don't want to hear "it's never too late." If you believe that, you've never missed a bus or a plane or an appointment. Thanks for your understanding.