Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Taken Into Account

This is going to turn into a long and healthy rant, so I'm going to take it one thing at a time.

First, make your way to my website, where you'll find a brand-new album for things like lighthouses and pretty boats! It's got five lighthouses right now, and more will be added (as I find the pictures and scan them in) in time. I'll put up a new album, coming soon (tm), for sailing and kayaking pictures.

I didn't finish my book last night like I wanted to, but I've got 8 chapters to go. Tomorrow is the day!

Now here's the big one.

I started a Slim-Fast diet in May. Somewhere between then and February, I had gained nearly 30 pounds and much of my clothing no longer fit me (I've so far gone through the summer on two pairs of shorts). I did the two-shake-a-day thing every day for the first month, and then every day except weekends thereafter. I had lost 7 pounds in that mix, so I upped my activity (at least, I thought so) and added a few more calories so my body wouldn't start hording. Last night, feeling particularly uncomfortable in my own skin, I realized I had gained 2 pounds on that total from May (meaning the 7 that I lost came back plus 2). I spent the evening being really mad at myself for not doing everything I could to lose this extra weight (yes, I'd been slacking off my exercises, but I've been more active on the weekends, so I guess I didn't find the happy medium I thought I had). And I know it's not muscle gain, because my clothes still don't fit.

I was ready to take in nothing but water for the next three days, but my cat purred me away from that crazy notion. I packed my food for the day as usual, and did a more rigorous exercise this morning. I'm still too tired to exercise when I get home from work, but I think I'm going to just have to deal with that to get rid of this extra weight.

Now, let me give you a scenario:

I say, "I want to lose weight. My clothes are no longer comfortable, and I feel uncomfortable in my skin."

My friend (pick one, because the only people who haven't given me this answer were my parents. And if you were one of the people who did say this, don't take it personally, you were not alone.) says, "I think you look fine."

Please tell me, how does that help? I've just told you that I feel uncomfortable and you say I look fine? The only thing that response is going to do is make me feel like my concerns are unimportant, which will make me more lethargic and depressed (which equals to, you guessed it, putting on more weight). Why can't you just say "I support you and I want you to be healthy and happy"? How hard is that? Don't add in your opinions of my appearance, I've already told you it's not about that, it's about how I feel. No wonder people in this country have such a hard time losing weight, they have no support!

Now that we've established that, remind me that I've been wanting to see a doctor about a few things. It will probably end up being several doctors, so I guess I should prepare a list!