Aren't You All Proud of Me?

And how I can be so upset that I can no longer process intelligent words and don't even apologize for it?

I'm really here today to let you all know that The Secret, the popular movie and book that talks about using the law of attraction to get what you want, is a sham. It doesn't work, so don't waste your money, don't hold your breath, don't deplete your energy. There is no Universal Catalogue, and operators are not standing by. You are on your own, and no amount of positive thinking is going to get you what you want. You will still wake up in the same dung heap that you fell asleep in. Polish a turd, it's still a turd.

I bet all of you faithful blog readers are going to start missing the happy girl who used to post here. I'm sorry to report that she's been killed for the last time. There is nothing to hope for and no reason to bounce back. Yes, every ! from this weekend was a complete lie. (except for the bit about having a destructive storm named after me.)

I'm a simple person. I try not to make impossible goals. Be a successful actor: nope. Get married/have kids: nope. Move out of parents home: nope. I'm really not that complex, but everything I ever wanted in life is just unattainable. I wish someone would tell me what I'm doing wrong. And don't you dare tell me I'm not thinking positive. I tried that, remember? Mierda all around.

Look, I can swear in another language too.