Thursday, June 14, 2007

The Joys of Corporate Offices

I've got this great story to tell you! We all know that I've been getting along with WAM recently. I like this, I'd much rather get along with WAM than not. However, I have evidence that WAM is still the same old crazy WAM we all have grown to know and love.

A friend of mine here in the office, with whom I've gone shopping and to dinner and to beaches and amusement parks on occasion, is the originator of this story. We're going to call this person Pat. Not to be confused with any previous person I've called Pat, and I'll probably keep calling this person Pat for here on out.

Pat is more essential than any other employee in my department. Pat has been here for some eight years, and had the most amazing memory of anyone I have ever known. Boss² relies on Pat above all others to keep the office running, to make sure that things get done. Pat makes more money on overtime than regular salary, and is often the only one approved for overtime. Pat is essential.

Pat is so essential that he is expected to be here at 0300 every day. 0300 to 1300 or so is a typical day for him (better he than I!). WAM starts at 0700 like I do.

So, today being the typical day, Pat got here at 0300 and started working. He doesn't turn on the lights when he gets here, because he doesn't really need them. His team usually comes in between 0500 and 0600 daily, and they don't care for the big bright florescent overhead lights either. They have to be on during regular operating hours (0700 to 1900 or so), but certainly not at 0300 or 0600 for that matter.

For reasons unknown, WAM arrived today before 0630. That's way early! And the first thing WAM does upon arrival? You guessed it, turn on the lights. Pat got up and turned them off. WAM got up and turned them on. Pat told someone on his team to turn them off, and so he did. WAM intercepted him.

"Why did you turn those off?"
"Because Pat told me to." he said.
WAM nearly yelled, "Do you always do what Pat tells you?"
"Pat is my senior, so yes." He said.
"Well, he's going to be in so much trouble!"

And WAM goes back to the desk and calls her mother. She talks about a meeting that we had some three and a half years ago that the lights have to be on (during working hours, I remember that meeting), how Pat crossed the line, and how WAM was certain that Boss² would agree with her on this. We're talking about lights, dear blog readers, WAM is arguing that she was right in turning on the lights. WHO CARES!?!

Remember how Boss² relies on Pat? Yeah, I don't really think the boss will care at all about the lights, in fact, I'm willing to bet that WAM might get told just the opposite of what she's expecting. After all, it's even more important that Pat and his team get the early work done, and if the lights off help them to do that, WAM is probably going to find herself in a battle with no allies.

Now, why am I taking Pat's story without hearing WAM's side? Simple, because it's WAM we're talking about. Every bit of that story is 100% believable in the bizarre context that is WAM's world. I'll let you know what Boss² has to say about this 'confrontation!'


Willow Goldentree said...

She had to call her mother?! Oh, that is just hilarious! I can't wait to hear what happens next.

Fyrecreek said...

Really! As Pat was telling me the story, he said "I mean it, Airyn, she told on me to her mother!" Their desks are close enough that he's going to hear her phone conversations at that time of day.

WAM, dear, sweet WAM.