Tuesday, June 12, 2007

What They Think of Me

This is going to sound like an egotistical blog entry, but it's really not. Well...how many personal blogs are not about the person who writes them anyway?

I usually don't care about what other people think of me. I don't care about their opinions (unless they're false), or how they perceive me. The opinion that matters is my own. Of course, there are friends who's opinions matter, but they matter in a different way.

So, I've been thinking about how other people perceive me. And I've been thinking about it because two people in particular said the exact same thing to me in the past 24 hours, and I've heard it before, and I'm starting to discover that I both believe them, AND I knew it all along.

Excepting last weeks super-depressed near swear-fest (oops, but I still won't apologize for it), which everyone is entitled to and I haven't had one of those since high school anyway, I'm a generally happy person. Most of the people in my life notice this, let me have my down days, all that jazz. I think they all expect me to be happy, and when I'm not, they expect it will return sooner rather than later.

I can't argue that point, really.

I've learned that people think I'm observant, I see things and hear things that most others would miss. They see me as someone who will listen without judging and will offer advice without beating around a bush. Unless you ask my boss, people see me as dependable and reliable, street smart and (mostly) practical. People believe I am a generous person: with money, things, and time. They know I am kind and caring and loving and not stingy with any of those. Did I miss anything? Perhaps the most important point, as it relates to living my life the way I want, is the aforementioned one that two people have said about me over the past day (several over the past really crappy week, and several before that). I am resourceful.

They didn't use that exact word. What they did say was (paraphrased, because they both said the exact same thing a little differently), "when you want something, you find a way of getting it." They're right, I can't disagree with that at all. The things that don't really involve a huge agreement on the part of another person tend to be doable, and if they're not, I can make them.

Consider: last year's trip to Idaho. It was planned, set-up, and executed in less than two weeks. Or any of the major purchases I've made over the past couple years; two kayaks, an elliptical machine, laser vision correction surgery. And here I am four days from being credit debt-free (including this year's ID trip). I can go back earlier than that too, to a week in Daytona, two trips to London, kick boxing classes, or the super brand new laptop of my dreams for half the regular price. I often joke about my ability to research, "if it's out there to be found, I can find it." This is true here as well, "if I really want it, I will find a way to have it." It will all work out, because it has to. And if there's a time frame, it happens without delay. I am a 'make the plan right the first time, then execute the plan' kind of gal.

So, remember this resourcefulness for me. I might need to be reminded when little bits of doubt come my way. In fact, one such instance is what prompted person #2 to say such a thing to me this morning. But I'm not ready to tell you what is in the works just yet. I still need some more details. What I will say is that if I got that job that I really wanted that I was so upset to not get, the plan I'm working on now wouldn't even be a suggestion, let alone a possibility.

Funny how the world works sometimes, isn't it?

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