Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Why I'm Often Tired

When people ask how I am, my response is almost always tired. Sometimes it's not true, most days it is.

Find ye a whistle, and blow into it very softly, so that you produce a nice soft constant sound. Get a partner to sound it right next to your ear (gently!). How does it sound? Imagine one by each ear, and then imagine that ALL THE TIME. Everything you hear has to get through that light constant whistle. The whistle is louder when there are no other sound around, right? Welcome to my world.

The sound is the worst when I'm laying down to go to bed. Because there are no other sounds for my ears and brain to focus on. All I get from both sides is a nice high pitched reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee sound. Every night. All night long.

It doesn't make for easily falling asleep. It's hard to meditate. Oh, what I wouldn't give for a little bit of silence.

It wasn't always like this. I think it started five or six months ago. I would really like to be rid of it, but all the things I've tried haven't helped. During the day it isn't so bad, but I notice it if I focus. But really, sleep suffers. Then I get headaches. Then it gets louder. Then I can't sleep some more. This is why I'm always tired.

I thought of this today because a coworker was talking about having some trouble with his hearing in one hear. I explained my trouble. It's not in my hearing, mind you, I still hear very very well. One of these days I'm going to scream or cry or do some other thing that's also going to make it louder. And now, I get to go listen to sounds that just aren't there while I wish I was sleeping. Good night!

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